wOrnella Mutiw
on Mystery by Katie2
23 Jan 2003, 12:46 AM
Inspirational poetry....hmmmmm...I liked where you were going with the clear thought and then you went downhill again......completely eliminate the last stanza....and don't use she...make it from your own prespective.....we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance...i barely know you and yet i know what you're about, meaningless creation.
jerky boys, second album.
First was way better.
the situation you describe is funny, but the sonnet is not working for me. What's darkest ever? Trees with leafs of leather?...odd, the image doesn't work.....6
thanks for the feedback...i have to work on this some more
i was really feeling the piece when i was writing it, now i have to go back and reflect on it a bit
I like this....fighting the clouds for space... Overall, I like what you're trying to do, but at times it seemed choppy....work on the flow and then it would be in the 9/10 range.....for now 7.
ohhhhhhhh yeaaaaahhhhhh....9999999....i like your style alot...simple, sharp, accessible and to the point.
running through my head...all the things you said.....trying to make sense......nooooooooooooo....7
It would if this had anything to do with Africa.
aelo, i am street performer. i play with cobra. since my accident, i stay on computer all day. my cobra, he hit my eye. aahhhhgggghhhhh. i play flute. i play the wrong song... i go toooooooo tooooddlllleeeee tooooo toooooddllllleeeee tooooo... and he HIT ME. aahhhhhggghhhhh.
HE HIT MY EYE WITH THE POISON TOOTH
Strong poetry.
What makes this an other? Still I kind of like it.
How can anyone deny your genius? You make me laugh so, and the high quality of your musings never ever slips, well actually soem of your little aids things weren't good enough. Probably because you didn't extrapolate(sp?).
Have you got the costume that goes with this soliloquy? I'd cream to see you step of the truck in leather breast-plate and pleated skirt. This is the part were I through my box of popcorn at the screen and walked out. I wrote " I Am the Widow of a Murdered Husband" that night. Mr. Crowe is the spitting image of my beloved's father, no kidding. I loved him in L.A. Confidential, and thought he did a great job with the crap he was given in Beautiful Mind, but this movie is a stinker all around. Foochy!
I lie your style a great deal, once again pictures galore. Thank you for showing and not telling. You write like a novelist.
Interesting. I like the pictures, there aren't enough around here. The sprite I don't like and the vinyl flames I don't understand. Very modern, very hip.
silver.
i am going to feature your poetry tonight on my show me thinks.
this is by far the worst poem i've read of yours, sorry...6f
Have no fear..it's only a black out while eating at mcdonalds, feel that...there there...hold my mcnuggets.