David
on The yellow rose of California by INTRANSIT
10 Dec 2002, 9:22 AM
I like your poem.
This is wonderful. I honestly think the "would have you here with me" lines in the first two stanzas weaken them--it's implicit in the "woulds" that he is not, and the penultimate lines are so strong it seems a shame not to let them stand. Maybe it's just me. Also, in the same vein, "badge of New England" is not as strong an image as "autumn's first blood" and seems to detract from it--you're winging south so must be north. I like the pun with Mercury.
Are you talking about giving poor people goats and things?
Jackson, that's it, the Reverend Jesse Jackson.
lunar
on Gilded Stumps of Olde (AN STORY THAT IS NOT AN POEME) by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
10 Dec 2002, 9:05 AM
why do u always spell poem and poet with an 'e' on the end? it makes u look like a pretentious prat. (or is that the whole idea?)
that's ok, david. we're getting used to it. his group, as named below, has an adopt-an-animal campaign for overseas vagabonds. their not pets, though, they adopt them for dinner.
e.e. cummings meets the Reverend Jesse, ahhh I forgot his last name.
You need aspirin, take two and call me in the morning. That will be $50.00 please. Oh wait, this is a first visit, make that $95.00.
So what? That's a difficult question...
This was a while back, but your comments deserve a response.
Your presumption is off. I'm a 100% hack at poetry with a certain lack of spelling acumen. If anyone should be limited in their postings it should be me.
What I was after in my suggestion is the notion that those who use this sight in a negative hostile manor should be limited. Those who spew out pure garbage for the sake of it should be able to do so, but only in a limited sense.
Anyone should be able to post their heart's effort. Its when the effort speaks more towards a blatant misuse of the english language under the guise of poetry that I have a problem.
Those who speak with their hearts and mind are excluded, no matter how long they've been crafting their words. Crafting is the operative word here, far far removed from the mindless rhetorical masturbation I make refernce to.
Drugs, uh, do antihistamines count? Maybe it's the aspirin. I don't like drugs, except of cpourse OTC's. Ihave always been subjected to random drug screenings so never got into them. Glad you like my rants, I use them as a stress-reliever, never took them seriously. I read a lot. My mind wanders. A friend told me I should try out this website, so here I am, and suprised how much good poetry is here. Thank you for the compliments.
"We are warm together"--yegods, that's perfect. You and that lovely, earthy simplicity, damn you. Up to your usual standard.
shh!
this slithers.
Thank you Caducus, I added "dreamland" this morning. I wanted it in the original but my mind gets so flushed with ideas that I just forgot all about it.
the influence of certain other writers on this site added to your own unique gift of clarity and individual style has improved your work so much. I know you've been working hard and i fink its paid off
What,may I ask, does it take to earn a Bachian swagger award?
can we find from where, though?
Hey devildude this is your strongest so far in this book, so in your words 'i shall rate thee highly'