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replying on Faith by INTRANSIT
29 Oct 2002, 12:18 PM
what do you want from me on this one? you must have known it inside for it to come out as it did; that's part of the reason i write: to see things that cannot be seen with the eye.
is this the one you thought was better?
This is interesting, the piece I posted first, I thought to be the better piece. This one's getting all the attention. Hmmmm.
And how are you today, -=Dark_Angel=-?
Your last piece hits close to how it feels to live in a truck for long periods of time.
not so much fun saturday night, but now it's somewhat amusing. apparently, i'm not 'intellectually stimulating' enough for the man. although he seemed to find other bits of me more than stimulating enough. okay, so it's still not so much fun.
It smacks of a working class background.
yeah lol nice one!111 except that if you wrote a good poeme about how crap beer was you wouldn't exactly be 'gracing' it, would you?
Though I agree with your verdict on beer (though may I add it should be 'horse piss'), as a poem this is almost as detestable as the subject. Or was that the point?
Not bad. Not bloody bad at all. Just one little thing, 'foretell' is the verb. The noun is 'fortelling'. I.e., 'A foretell' makes no sense.
Though I can be a pedantic purist, in this case, I simply don't find it a very good poem, haiku or not.
Thankyou for this. It's a bleak day up here and I have not yet been able to shake off the feeling of complete inaction that i woke up with. You have moved me and i now feel inspired to go and write one of me own as i haven't posted anything for a while. Keep up the good work. (I haven't voted because i don't understand the way they work out the average. eg. 3 votes of 10 will give an average of say...5.7, when correct me if i'm wrong but should it not be 10? And anyway, i don't really think that you can "rank" a poem. It is understood personally to every reader
Sorry, I'm a purist. Not a bad poem in itself, but an abhorrent haiku. Have a 0 and learn to OBEY THE RULES!!!!!!!
But very quietly. I like to be discreet.
i know you are here, i can hear you breathing...
frabbling good.
A very tender little skech. Simple and honest. By the way, I was interested in what you said about me sounding as if I'd worked on the road - I never have. What is it about my work that makes you think I have?