on Blue, Black & White by oneglove
27 Oct 2006, 2:31 PM
Reads like a song. Call it a lyric and give it a tune.
on Pope Benedict And The Limbo Problem by Edna Sweetlove
17 Oct 2006, 12:58 PM
Already a 10! It will soon work "its" way to the best list.
on 311006 txt to russia by daniella
31 Oct 2006, 10:50 AM
Yes, I have been spoken to by such voices. A less cryptic title might dispell criticism.
on Smalltalkers by D. $ Fontera
19 Oct 2006, 11:50 AM
Sounds like what my father called "beating artound the bush." Not very well organized.
on some deleted poem
19 Oct 2006, 11:52 AM
Has a nice rattle of words. Drop the last line, I say. But you probably have some reason for it.
on The Pitâs Bottom by Dovina
26 Oct 2006, 1:02 PM
This piece of doggerel is in response to âCrappyâ by Dr. Nick, DND, Doctor of Non-Divinity, Pastor of the Michigan Church of Atheism.
on Work by half.italian
17 Oct 2006, 12:56 PM
"Loophole" is one word. A bit wordy: "This time I watched a movie that reminded me of life It woke me from boredom" could be "A movie woke me from boredom."
on Still by half.italian
31 Oct 2006, 10:45 AM
I relate to scarce memories, ones that feel like they responded to fate. I don't believe in fate, but I know the feeling. I don't like the idea of "correct tastes." The Eiffel tower has an appealing shape, but it may not be a "correct taste" to everyone; if fact it is not.
on connect the dots by daniella
19 Oct 2006, 11:46 AM
Ok, I looked at the site, but didn't stay there long. If you have a political statment to make in a poem, it would be better to make it, I think, rather than just referung to a URL.
on # 2 by Lifeboatman
24 Oct 2006, 6:09 PM
I donât pretened to follow this; I suspect that you and your lover are the only ones who do. I do like some of the lines:
âMust we to Time's fall fall?â
âYet go gently, never in haste. Deny not what you desire to taste. Then shall glee befall us.â
âdaffodilsâ âbouquetsâ
âMust we to Time's fall fall?â
âYet go gently, never in haste. Deny not what you desire to taste. Then shall glee befall us.â
âdaffodilsâ âbouquetsâ
on A DANCE OF NO TUNE by stevopoet
19 Oct 2006, 11:43 AM
"Heaping up dance on my hips" - good line. But starting every line with an "ing" word is a bit boring. "Shaking ones head" takes the "me" out of it. Is English your second language? If so, not bad.
on Consider this by MacFrantic
27 Oct 2006, 2:26 PM
Donât âthink twice about God or the Devil. We are fragments in a sea of ineffable words.â
I feel that way often. Sometimes I think itâs impossible to talk about God or the Devil without resorting to analogy or metaphor. Some say that if anthropomorphic language is all we have in these matters it becomes added evidence for their non-existence. I disagree but see their point.
Some good thoughts here, but could be more poetic, and at least called âprose poem.â
I feel that way often. Sometimes I think itâs impossible to talk about God or the Devil without resorting to analogy or metaphor. Some say that if anthropomorphic language is all we have in these matters it becomes added evidence for their non-existence. I disagree but see their point.
Some good thoughts here, but could be more poetic, and at least called âprose poem.â
on Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS! by Sing4Jesus!
23 Oct 2006, 4:17 PM
I wish you would enter discussion on whether these Jesus poems are satire or if you really like this stuff. If you mean it, then you've progressed about an inch backward from the Crusades.
on Epilogue by MacFrantic
23 Oct 2006, 5:38 PM
It could be the end of a great collective work, of which mine is the Prologue, and the middle is all of Poemranker.
on Slur by MacFrantic
20 Oct 2006, 3:42 PM
Nothingness and everything? Have at it.
on some deleted poem
15 Oct 2006, 1:49 PM
The subtitle is funny - a lose-lose predicament.
Aparently, the narrator is an ingested bird, missing his nest, though I don't know what a spud has to do with it. But then Verse 3 escapes me.
Or maybe it's a boy who threw a spud at a bird nest.
Confused, and sorry if I give away too much.
Aparently, the narrator is an ingested bird, missing his nest, though I don't know what a spud has to do with it. But then Verse 3 escapes me.
Or maybe it's a boy who threw a spud at a bird nest.
Confused, and sorry if I give away too much.
on Wry Edward's wry smile by oddgreenout
15 Oct 2006, 2:05 PM
Limericks usually march along with sing-song rhythm in addition to the rhyming scheme. What is a hawlk? A few too many commas, it seems, and a meaning covered in unusual language.
on Tidal by helenwales
15 Oct 2006, 2:12 PM
Somehow the rigid structure of haiku does not jive with stream-of-consciousness writing. Just holding 5-7-5 most of the time is not haiku. I'd make it all one stanza and let it flow.
on Let's Grovel For Jesus And Fight The Naughty Satan! by Sing4Jesus!
15 Oct 2006, 2:20 PM
I assume that all these Jesus poems are satire on Christianity. Perhaps you see hypocrisy in the church and wish to expound your rebellion. Ironically, Jesus did the same thing. âDo not according to their works,â he said of the religious leaders, âfor they say, and do not.â Matthew 23:3. Many other passages like this.