on Internet Junkie by cuddlytiger17
27 Jul 2005, 6:26 AM
Please, don`t devalue my life!
on she sits back and judges me by hendrimike
18 Jul 2005, 6:15 AM
an angry rant, nothing more.
on Twilight on the Roadside by ALChemy
22 Jul 2005, 8:29 AM
A good story, needing less story and more poetry, or else just tell it as a story.
'desaturated' may not be the right word.
'I was' in verse 3 can go.
(That image burned into my heart)- Best, I think, to show how you feel rather than tell us.
'desaturated' may not be the right word.
'I was' in verse 3 can go.
(That image burned into my heart)- Best, I think, to show how you feel rather than tell us.
on some deleted poem
27 Jul 2005, 6:25 AM
Tiny bubbles in the wine, a song and a feeling. Not bad.
on Noble oboe now sings every next saturday evening by ALChemy
24 Jul 2005, 6:24 AM
I'm a little under a Denken Weizen at the moment, but are there realy meadows in Tuscany? I do like to board a starship with its bark and all, of willows and such wherever the memories lead.
on Decoys and Disguises behind large-areas of smoke screens by Beyond_Dreams
24 Jul 2005, 6:30 AM
I'm happy you noticed me in my skirt 'too' short and ruge, not lipstick, on my cheeks. I really can't tell yesterday from today or tomorrow. You can have only one arm and graffitti on your feet, it doesn't matter if you love me. That's where most guys don<#t get it.
on Summer of Firsts by Miggy
24 Jul 2005, 6:32 AM
Beware! This looks too much like deception!
on Stabbed with a Carrot by T. Jonathron Remp
24 Jul 2005, 6:38 AM
A bit like the 'words will never hurt me' nonsenense of a cliche. A carot can hurt if you think it can. I don't get how this is 'spiritually' true. I seems like just the effect of belief.
on Cavern of Chaos by Nuit
24 Jul 2005, 6:45 AM
??? Chaos? What is it?
on A thank you note(Not a poem at all) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
24 Jul 2005, 6:54 AM
Get over it!!!
on SO DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE by prettyktm
24 Jul 2005, 6:56 AM
What a line of bull!! I've heard it all before!!
God never made a sound, but you tell us not to underestimate God. The white veins were not God, nor were the fireflies? The laughing frogs and anguishing cicadas have it right. What are you, the observer, anguishing with, if not the sounds of God? Say what you mean, man! Or as CS Lewis said, the skill of writing is to know exactly what you want to say, and to say exactly that.
on some deleted poem
27 Jul 2005, 6:20 AM
I have difficulty making the connection between the events in the poem and the last verse where it`s related to belief in God.
on some deleted poem
27 Jul 2005, 6:32 AM
The last verse begins tenderly and redemptively, but I wish you`d not use `rage of jealousy.` The better ending would resolve the issue, as I think it can be resolved.
on a love not meant to be by nentwined
28 Jul 2005, 7:02 AM
Why must such a love be not meant? Or not workable? "combed together" seems odd for liquid and concrete.
on You, the Line, and I by MacFrantic
1 Aug 2005, 8:34 AM
I hate these lines beween us, but see them too. The other line could be death, but could be the anti-line. I hope so.
on Observation of a stupéfait by Dental Panic
1 Aug 2005, 8:39 AM
Some inconsistencies in punctuation:
leaves'
spoke.
rustling.
But what are you saying?
leaves'
spoke.
rustling.
But what are you saying?
on she sits back and judges me by hendrimike
1 Aug 2005, 8:41 AM
I feel it. Good.