poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Dovina (121-140)

Comments byDovina, 121–140 back. Include replies

on You're passionate by EAger to Offend 17 Jan 2008, 4:24 PM
"Deep fascinations, shallow understanding" That ought to be everyone's goal
on The dumping world by Prince of Void 17 Jan 2008, 4:29 PM
Answer to Question 1: none
Answer to Question 2: everyone
Get involved here: http://www.hopedevelopment.org/ or somewhere, else cry in your beer.
on Life is a moment by Prince of Void 17 Jan 2008, 4:30 PM
ok, but get the grammar right, it irks me.
on Running Local by INTRANSIT 30 Dec 2007, 2:29 PM
Trucker terms, or Greek, who knows. I cycle with the biggest, rumba with the Macs. Parkour stumps me. Please, not over a fence. Fly ball and swerve on - I wont ask. Now, elope for a few on the server, I like. When ignorant, vote 7.
on Absorb by Skamper 30 Dec 2007, 2:33 PM
Answer: Soak it up and spit it out. Good philosophy.
on some deleted poem 19 Dec 2007, 11:50 AM
I like the parallel last lines of V1 and V3. Good throughout, except: What have you got against punctuation in last line of V2, since you use it throughout?
on Shiver by Skamper 19 Dec 2007, 11:53 AM
Very spare. Too spare I think. First verse is good. "creating moments" is overused, especially standing alone. "issues slick"?
on Happy Birthday by jessicazee 21 Dec 2007, 11:13 AM
The Christmas timing makes me wonder and chuckle. But I think it's tender and not Christmasey, but affectionate and giving. At least that's my take on it.
on Milk and gas by Caducus 21 Dec 2007, 11:17 AM
a sad tale well told.
on Engine Braking by INTRANSIT 4 Dec 2007, 1:40 PM
Whenever I see and hear a big-rig down-hilling with jake-brake screaming, I wonder if the driver still has ears, much less, whether he hears the wind a cooling fan makes. Maybe those things are super-sound-insulated, never been there. Tach and speed align at what? - 40mph, 4000rpm?
on some deleted poem 4 Dec 2007, 1:48 PM
"She smiles like the coyness of world peace, before world war tomorrow." - love it. Slept takes = Sleep takes, I think. "Deep, like that of an addict" -> Deep like an addict - try that.
on some deleted poem 4 Dec 2007, 1:53 PM
One of your best! Plain phrases, strong and clear, replace your sometimes otherworld wanderings.
on uh..huh.. by nobody 4 Dec 2007, 1:55 PM
too many words, too little said
on Day Dream by Jessina 4 Dec 2007, 2:00 PM
a nice attempt at old-time charm. Some of the articles and pronouns can go I think, i.e. "Where he waltz with his amazing charm" = Where he waltzes with amazing charm.

With treasured violin in hand
Composing blissful ardent hymns
on disregard by Skamper 4 Dec 2007, 2:05 PM
First 5 lines draw me in, then into what? You lose me in midstream, and at the end I wonder what I read.
on 7 Deadly Sins by forsaken 8 Dec 2007, 7:08 PM
Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride - Yep, you've sinned them all and deserver hellfire without possibility of parole. That's what you deserve, but because of one who already paid, you get better than you deserve if you want it. However, the sins of "your still save with me", "that bad that", and "I haven't crave in such awhile" are simply unforgivable.
on Whore of Babylon by oneglove 8 Dec 2007, 7:11 PM
Lines 3 and 4 are good. The rest, well, a work in progress.
on The Monogamous by Sasha 27 Nov 2007, 8:50 PM
I like it a lot. Would scratch the parentheses and the colon though.
on Again with the venting by hobojo 27 Nov 2007, 8:54 PM
The last verse is quite good I think. It's the summation of most complaints. But we all know that "just and even" never happens.
on Trapped in a horseshoe by INTRANSIT 27 Nov 2007, 8:58 PM
Scratch the "and" in Verse 1. I like "quarterback of the linear team." Space after the comma in Verse 3. Last line is provocative.