on A List of Names Worth Listing by SupremeDreamer
2 Aug 2008, 12:45 PM
I am honored, thank you
on Smelly Scum Child. by Y2kSlamPoet
2 Aug 2008, 12:36 PM
No prophet, just a jerk, telling lies.
on some deleted poem
2 Aug 2008, 12:32 PM
Poor disabled slob. Have a sucker
on Almost Alone by sliver
23 Jul 2008, 4:21 PM
Becoming more like willow than oak is very Dao and very cool.
Verse 2 displays drunkenness; please proofread.
Verse 5 is a thing I learned 20 years ago. But Verse 6 blows it.
The final verse is a disappointment to a good poem. Goals should always be subject to change.
Verse 2 displays drunkenness; please proofread.
Verse 5 is a thing I learned 20 years ago. But Verse 6 blows it.
The final verse is a disappointment to a good poem. Goals should always be subject to change.
on Magazine Promotion by nentwined
23 Jul 2008, 4:27 PM
Where the heck is GUD anyway? I liked 20% of it and that's a lot. Be like Homer, I say, write for absolutely no reason at all and try to sell nothing.
on in this bus terminal of the future by nentwined
27 Jun 2008, 10:39 AM
If an engine won't run, inject some of your own blood into its carburetor. Good try. I think the resumption of SEARCH would make a better try.
As for anti-grav and VTOL, they look like results of the same technology. I don't know what FTL is. The last line is funny
As for anti-grav and VTOL, they look like results of the same technology. I don't know what FTL is. The last line is funny
on I Got Mine Designed by Skamper
27 Jun 2008, 10:46 AM
At least you're back and ranting erotically. I wish more were. "de-frost" is like putting Frost down. Hopefully you don't mean to; why not "defrost"?
on some deleted poem
27 Jun 2008, 10:51 AM
period after slogans, else the last line has wrong meaning. I get a few bites to chew on here from a beast I cannot identify.
on The sky ending up by Prince of Void
27 Jun 2008, 11:18 AM
Pessimists have the advantage of seldom becoming discouraged by a bad happening. Enjoy unhappiness, it seems quite comforting. I think you can make this more unhappy be cutting the "in"s in lines 6 and 7 and other such words that don't depress.
on The Things We Wear by jessicazee
11 Mar 2008, 3:32 PM
"red rain dress" is a wonderment, maybe like me, you just walk a lot and get wet. "worm elastic" is cute. That hat wont help against rain. S4 is strange, and strangely punctuated. S5 pulls it together, except the tag is again, strange.
on Light show by winniss
11 Mar 2008, 3:34 PM
ok, nice rhythm, ok rhyme. What's the point?
on Sleep *edited by hobojo
15 Feb 2008, 3:22 PM
emits sound
on some deleted poem
6 Feb 2008, 4:18 PM
Yes, a good statement, not too didactic. Not bad.
Can lose "as a sack" I think
"ugly" can go too
Line 4: "a young . . "
Can lose "as a sack" I think
"ugly" can go too
Line 4: "a young . . "
on Should have a world record by alvinb
6 Feb 2008, 4:06 PM
Do you really think your tears and your heartaches are greater than any others? "Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you." I Pet 4
on Empty Eyes by Rachelle Egan
6 Feb 2008, 4:07 PM
The rhymes are forced. Rwanda deserves better.
on Nameless Stranger (a rensaku) by gunsaku
6 Feb 2008, 4:12 PM
good except penultimate stanza. Adding supernatural is a disappointment. First 5 verses are best.
on Voice of the World by Dovina
27 Jan 2008, 2:55 PM
Beginning a new thread like a charismatic renewal of an old religion, this is an answer to atheists, a declaration of victory in the battle between enlightened secularism and Christianity. Or stated with recognition of human frailty, as Jesus taught to state, I preface anything I say with realization that Betelgeuse is 800 times the sunâs diameter and is so far away that nobody living today will see it, but only its light sent hundreds of years ago. And though it is unimaginably big and far, much greater things were flung by someone (Oh, sorry, that presumes too much.) My mistake, of course, is inferring God from science, instead of not-god from science.
Now where were we? Oh yes, we were relating morality and religion. Or stated another way, we were relating principles that hold society in harmony, with ideas about God. They seem unrelated to me, but I find it interesting that most religions hold the same morals in regard to stealing, killing, fraud, and the like. Religions differ on morals about the eating of bats, the covering of womenâs faces, and the killing of insects. The first set of morals derives from polite societyâs needs, and work just fine either couched in dogma or without religion. The second begin with writings and clericâs decrees. Just because these âmoralsâ get stuck into religion does not make them part of true religion. What could the eating of bats have to do with recognition of God? Jesus made this point clear, as anyone can see from reading him apart from later writings of his church. Christianity is about Christ (duh) not about superseded Old Testament texts or something a monk wrote in the fourteenth century.
In summary: donât get me started.
Now where were we? Oh yes, we were relating morality and religion. Or stated another way, we were relating principles that hold society in harmony, with ideas about God. They seem unrelated to me, but I find it interesting that most religions hold the same morals in regard to stealing, killing, fraud, and the like. Religions differ on morals about the eating of bats, the covering of womenâs faces, and the killing of insects. The first set of morals derives from polite societyâs needs, and work just fine either couched in dogma or without religion. The second begin with writings and clericâs decrees. Just because these âmoralsâ get stuck into religion does not make them part of true religion. What could the eating of bats have to do with recognition of God? Jesus made this point clear, as anyone can see from reading him apart from later writings of his church. Christianity is about Christ (duh) not about superseded Old Testament texts or something a monk wrote in the fourteenth century.
In summary: donât get me started.