on Pop Quiz by steven adams
8 Oct 2004, 10:14 AM
As Samantha, I ignore them. As Steven, I'd have to act macho with a joke.
on Dancing and Talking by steven adams
8 Oct 2004, 10:18 AM
A really good thought you have here. It could be said stronger with fewer words though.
on Death's Invitation by eliastemplar
6 Oct 2004, 10:04 AM
I have a letter that might as well be around my neck reminding of a narrow escape, and in a bargain with the grim reaper, there's the stones of a crumbled foundation accross a wooded path. Thanks for the reminder.
on A Portrait of Antonio Machado (Edit) by Sasha
3 Oct 2004, 11:13 AM
Your poetry comes from some "tranquil spring" and you are truly "good"???? I was about to criticize, but then I looked at my own reasons for this futility and find find them just as ridiculous.
on hauntingly sad beauty of death by Prince of Void
3 Oct 2004, 11:36 AM
Some good thoughts here, but the title gives you away. I'd rather see a title that only hints. And some grammar glytches make it choppy.
on What is a poet by INTRANSIT
4 Oct 2004, 5:30 AM
How do porcupines make love, particularly the hair-trigger kind? I ask because of this poisonous twitch. It's getting in the way.
on All At Last by nocturnalism
4 Oct 2004, 5:33 AM
The country's not really all that bad. Some crap, yes. But some good stuff too.
on Big fanny by keatsImnot
4 Oct 2004, 5:37 AM
Some good thoughts here, some bad grammar. I don't like the title. Either that or I did not get the connection.
on Better All The Time by wilco
6 Oct 2004, 7:49 AM
At least you're off the marriage binge.
on some deleted poem
6 Oct 2004, 8:00 AM
Except for the preaching in the last three lines, you have a good thing going.
on The Mortician: Scourge of the pen. by SupremeDreamer
7 Oct 2004, 8:58 AM
Some good thoughts here, especially that a mortician is there "to facilitate the apathetic-but-proper
disposal of the soul."
disposal of the soul."
on DUKE BLOBBY;;;;; by MR Blobby
7 Oct 2004, 9:09 AM
There was a certain king
who had ten thousand men
He marched them up the hill one day
and marched them down again.
And when you're up, you're up
And when you're down, you're down
and when you're only half way up,
you're neither up n0or down.
who had ten thousand men
He marched them up the hill one day
and marched them down again.
And when you're up, you're up
And when you're down, you're down
and when you're only half way up,
you're neither up n0or down.
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2004, 9:19 AM
I have to admire your keeping at this - third major revision if memory serves. Almost like Whitman kept at Leaves of Grass and probably shouldn't have. Still elusive. Meanings in murky canal water.
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2004, 9:35 AM
I like "Buried bones in coloured spines." and, "immortalized on diseased elm . . . where fading names reside"
on Locomotive's Graveyard by longships
12 Oct 2004, 4:36 PM
I like this description and the "memories of those who once cared." Comma after reminiscing. Do pistons ever compress? Are coal holds really tinder cars? If so how do they stare?
on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2004, 7:46 PM
Dream on and on . . .
on I Cannot Go by TLRufener
11 Oct 2004, 7:59 PM
Not your best. Too many words. Good thought though.
on She Crab by http://mulberryfairy
12 Oct 2004, 4:30 PM
A nice description of the crab, except for "too too solid flesh." I'm trying to see it as a metaphor. Wish I could.
on Life's Vision Altered by Katzclear
12 Oct 2004, 11:00 AM
Try a spell checker. Some good thoughts here. Suicide is selfish and unkind!