on Do 20 always make this poem sense? by Prince of Void
15 Jan 2006, 5:03 PM
To answer your title question, no. It would help to get the grammar right; but even then, I don't see that it makes sense.
Thanks.
For those who have not followed this exciting series:
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For those who have not followed this exciting series:
Racism: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
Racism 2: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
on awakening by pollywolly
15 Jan 2006, 2:11 PM
If it says what I think it might, it's a nice picture. Could you make it more clear, and say stand instead of stands?
on angst of the saints by calliope
13 Jan 2006, 12:51 PM
It seems the last line should be, "i'm just as surprised as you when i reply."
on levity kiss by skaskowski
13 Jan 2006, 12:49 PM
I'm glad you explained that. But why not just let the first line be: Leviticus, levity kiss.
"singed with lipstick" is good.
"singed with lipstick" is good.
replying on The Prayer Vendor by Enkidu
13 Jan 2006, 11:49 AM
I see how that can be, but how many readers will even get through the unusual words in your large vocabulary to start thinking about an obsucre metaphor like that.
replying on cat by Dental Panic
12 Jan 2006, 6:35 PM
Yes, in the same way that Quantum Mechanics has turned switches in my brain. Granted, it's a long shot that such an all-inclusive theory will ever work well enough to gain wide acceptance among scientists.
replying on The Prayer Vendor by Enkidu
12 Jan 2006, 6:31 PM
Could be, but martyrs don't usually have mischevious (deil's) smiles.
replying on cat by Dental Panic
12 Jan 2006, 6:04 PM
I know neither Hawking nor DA, but I do appreciate Gentleness, and know him well.
on The Prayer Vendor by Enkidu
12 Jan 2006, 6:01 PM
How does a smile become a martyr?
"craven deprications" Did you use a thesaurus for "cowardly blames"? Not that it matters, but simpler language goes down easier. Still, I like this.
"craven deprications" Did you use a thesaurus for "cowardly blames"? Not that it matters, but simpler language goes down easier. Still, I like this.
replying on cat by Dental Panic
12 Jan 2006, 5:40 PM
I love Hawking because he is both intelligent and gentle in his presentatioin. "So God does play dice with the universe. All the evidence points to him being an inveterate gambler, who throws the dice on every possible occasion."
replying on cat by Dental Panic
12 Jan 2006, 9:37 AM
Hawling said that if someone could find a "theory of everything" which unites the currently divergent theories that describe various parts of the universe, then we would know the mind of God. I think he's right.
replying on What Matters by Dovina
12 Jan 2006, 9:14 AM
Bright-eyes-flanked-his-chin,
ten-der-smile-a-bove-his-nose.
I-knew-he-loved-me.
ten-der-smile-a-bove-his-nose.
I-knew-he-loved-me.
replying on the man with the red pendant by pollywolly
11 Jan 2006, 2:13 PM
You were doing fine up to the conclusions in the last verse, which lack support or leading story.
on Window Washer (midtown) by ecargo
11 Jan 2006, 2:08 PM
I saw a flagman once who made a dance of the mundane. It's inspiring - the window washer and your poem.
on The Hermit on the Thoroughfare by http://mulberryfairy
11 Jan 2006, 2:01 PM
Some commas needed. Using some, implies they're all there, but no, I think.
on Intestinal Splash by cyan9
11 Jan 2006, 1:54 PM
After that dream, I don't need to ask. You had a nice day.
on cat by Dental Panic
11 Jan 2006, 1:49 PM
It would make a more news-worthy test if you were in that box instead of a cat. Now that would be dental panic.
on the man with the red pendant by pollywolly
11 Jan 2006, 1:46 PM
Art interpretation carried too far.
replying on Uncontrolled scribblings one luch break by Nicholas Jones
11 Jan 2006, 1:44 PM
Oh, but it is. Get used to it.