on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 1:45 PM
'Snowflake in the sea' isn't bad, but 'candle lit at noon' is quite hackneyed.
on First Kiss... by loneshadow29
17 Oct 2002, 8:45 PM
Very tritely put.
on On the Swings by Christof
17 Oct 2002, 8:07 AM
Hee hee hee.
on Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus
16 Oct 2002, 6:37 PM
Hee hee.
on You Can Count On Friends by Ojiboch
18 Oct 2002, 1:57 PM
Change it around, fer gawd's sake: make your best friend be fear. Then write a poem about that. It could even be amusing.
on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 1:39 PM
Two angels in a row. What have I done to deserve this? Why does no one ever seem to meet a nasty little imp?
on realities <from above their brilliance is short-lived> by royalflesh
18 Oct 2002, 1:43 PM
I'm assuming that's 'infinities, third stanza from the end line 1. His girlfriend should have a better name than mirrorgirl.
on Dilemma of a Crip by Ninoy_Instigator
18 Oct 2002, 1:49 PM
'Towards Crips, people have anger' is tripe. Tripe tripe tripe tripe tripe. Now tripe, when well-cooked with salt, pepper, and a little oregano, can be good enough. In this case, it's raw. It doesn't fit the rest -- which isn't very good either. No feeling of dilemma whatsoever. Blah.
on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 1:37 PM
Okay, let me see if I get this right: first two lines rhyme, 3&4 try but can only repeat the same word, and the rest give up. I strongly sugget eliminated hopes of rhyme in this affair.
on Safe Distance, 10-10-02 by Frass
18 Oct 2002, 1:51 PM
The ending is bad. Perhaps he doesn't know. Perhaps your justice won't find him. And perhaps he doesn't hate anyone. It could always just be target practice. Or fun. Or something.
on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 1:55 PM
Office of Prayers,
Cloud Seven
Heaven.
October 18th, 2002.
Dear Silver2002:
We regret to inform you that your bid to escape from self-pity has been rejected, due to the fact that you already have caved in. The evidence is, of course, contained in your posted poems. We can do nothing to help you.
Regretfully,
Saint Anthony,
(Spokesperson for God)
Office of Prayers.
Cloud Seven
Heaven.
October 18th, 2002.
Dear Silver2002:
We regret to inform you that your bid to escape from self-pity has been rejected, due to the fact that you already have caved in. The evidence is, of course, contained in your posted poems. We can do nothing to help you.
Regretfully,
Saint Anthony,
(Spokesperson for God)
Office of Prayers.
on The ballad of woosie by rosiebailey
18 Oct 2002, 1:21 PM
Hmm, actually, the squirrel one is about the only one I don't like. This is seriously silly, which is good.
on purple and black gangstaz theme tune by rosiebailey
18 Oct 2002, 1:24 PM
Margaret Thatcher as a rapper. That is the greatest thing done to her since they made her appear as Public Opinion in Offenbach's 'Orpheus in the Underworld'.
on FHjk by Dark Angle
17 Oct 2002, 8:50 PM
This is either sheer genius or sheer idiocy. I really can't decide which.
on casting couch by darby pyn
17 Oct 2002, 8:52 PM
This truly sounds as if you wrote a rhyming affair and then stuck it in a mass of enjambments so that either we wouldn't notice or if we did we'd think it was modern genius. Are you sure it wouldn't work better in the original line breaking?
on unlucky by rosiebailey
16 Oct 2002, 7:03 PM
This vaguely reminds me of an opposite version of Ogden Nash's 'Adventures of Isabel' (if that's what it's called, can't quite recall). Maybe it's the bear.
on Why Did God Do This To Me? by TripleHGurl
16 Oct 2002, 7:04 PM
Maybe he did it so you'd stop whining. Apparently it failed. I wonder what he'll find next...
on some deleted poem
18 Oct 2002, 1:50 PM
'to make you feel you are the right'? 'I want nothing, just you' -- and a person is nothing? Your great love is nothing? How very flattering.