on Was Everyone Put On This Earth For A Reason by cabot
14 Oct 2005, 11:38 AM
Please, check your spelling and grammar. I've counted at least 10 problems that need to be fixed (and that's including words like don't and won't which should really be apostrophized).
on Cycles In Circles - Shame by D P Robertson
14 Oct 2005, 8:59 AM
Way too long with nothing to say! I got bored well before the halfway mark. I'm not really sure what you're getting at, and the cyclic composition seems forced to me. Sorry.
on In the berth by INTRANSIT
11 Oct 2005, 11:32 AM
(however, don't you think that "it's" should be changed to "its", as in
Or a freight train passes
singing its empty boxcar song;
?)
Or a freight train passes
singing its empty boxcar song;
?)
on In the berth by INTRANSIT
11 Oct 2005, 11:31 AM
sorry to repeat previous comments, but I loved it. ;-)
on Noble oboe now sings every next saturday evening by ALChemy
11 Oct 2005, 11:29 AM
I liked it. Not for any particular turn of phrase but for the soft dreamlike quality I felt it evoked. But I would get rid of the 'Satellite' bit, not everything has to stay a pure train of thought...
replying on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
11 Oct 2005, 11:13 AM
I don't snub my nose at rhyming poems, quite the contrary. I was basically making a joke and lo! a rational discussion sprang forth!
Seriously, I consider the art of writing poetry in rhyme or strict cadence as one that is a distinct intellectual exercise (hell, what poetry isn't? but still) as well as an expression of feeling and emotion. It's an obvious challenge to compress an idea to a pre-determined form (like a sonnet, for instance) and perhaps that is the reason I don't write more in verse, though I love it - I feel that rhymes should fall into place naturally, instead of stilting the poetry itself. That's tremendously hard to pull off correctly.
Seriously, I consider the art of writing poetry in rhyme or strict cadence as one that is a distinct intellectual exercise (hell, what poetry isn't? but still) as well as an expression of feeling and emotion. It's an obvious challenge to compress an idea to a pre-determined form (like a sonnet, for instance) and perhaps that is the reason I don't write more in verse, though I love it - I feel that rhymes should fall into place naturally, instead of stilting the poetry itself. That's tremendously hard to pull off correctly.
replying on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
11 Oct 2005, 11:06 AM
Hip-hop? I don't think so. I mean, out of all the rappers you've ever heard, how many of them were saying something? (all of them, you'd think?) No. Most just sing about how they're the biggest gangsta in the mothafuckin' hood and have all the best bitches and weed. That's not poetry or anything like it, it's simply ludicrous and an excuse for music with no content.
I've heard very few hip-hop songs that made me stop and think. Maybe it's degenerated and I admit that in Israel rapping on the corner is pretty rare, but I don't have much appreciation for hip-hop as a genre. Sorry.
~
(hey! I loved Gargamel (still do)!)
I've heard very few hip-hop songs that made me stop and think. Maybe it's degenerated and I admit that in Israel rapping on the corner is pretty rare, but I don't have much appreciation for hip-hop as a genre. Sorry.
~
(hey! I loved Gargamel (still do)!)
replying on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
4 Oct 2005, 10:56 AM
You get bad reviews on poemranker. Of course...
replying on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 3:53 PM
Heh, it's not even a poem, it's more of a joke; a friend of mine found my page through a web search and informed me (indirectly) that I don't rhyme enough. So I emailed him back with this and figured it would be amusing to put it on the site. C'est tout...
on Escape by Heather Dee
3 Oct 2005, 11:42 AM
Too many cliches for me, I'm afraid... sorry.
replying on Without my Glasses by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 11:35 AM
does clicking on the little hyperlink thingy and reading the title count? ;-)
replying on Without my Glasses by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 11:34 AM
If only I knew what 'being a wanna-be introvert' has to do with anything...
on Without my Glasses by Niphredil
3 Oct 2005, 2:41 AM
Heh. Where are you from, zodiac, anyway?
Dovina: the poem was written from my viewpoint, inside a dark room; the streetlight is outside and what I can see is the fuzzy light sifting through the window shade.
'streaks of white' - well, they wouldn't be seen as streaks if i had my glasses on :-)
Dovina: the poem was written from my viewpoint, inside a dark room; the streetlight is outside and what I can see is the fuzzy light sifting through the window shade.
'streaks of white' - well, they wouldn't be seen as streaks if i had my glasses on :-)
Fascinating. But I admit I am confused; too many swirling motives here. Aside from the central bread theme, I'd be happy if you were to clarify
"the order of things: a dog, a made bed,
a centerpiece, those million, no, billion lives
saved for some use I can't imagine - to trip
my hands, maybe..."
Who are these billion lives? a country? a nation? just people? not even human? who saved them and why?
"the order of things: a dog, a made bed,
a centerpiece, those million, no, billion lives
saved for some use I can't imagine - to trip
my hands, maybe..."
Who are these billion lives? a country? a nation? just people? not even human? who saved them and why?
on Rapid Eye Movement by wilco
2 Aug 2005, 4:28 AM
Lovely. I enjoyed your poem, it was a pleasure.
replying on I sat beside the night by Niphredil
16 May 2005, 12:25 PM
Thanks. You're right, I will.
on Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222
16 May 2005, 10:18 AM
It touched me. I think it is a beautiful poem.