on Indian Song by ALChemy
27 Nov 2005, 5:49 PM
This one's very experimental. Here's your hint, the first line is "Wildman".
replying on A Modern Woman by Dovina
27 Nov 2005, 8:55 AM
You see. You're gone a few days and people forget you existed.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
27 Nov 2005, 8:46 AM
Oh, by the way I just finished Local Colour. I know I’m a procrastinator but after all it is the southern way.
In some ways Bland and poemranker are alike, don’t you think? Was there a little nod to O’Henry in this one with the ironic surprise ending and the title choice? I think this is the best of the two. Certainly the most difficult to write I imagine. One of the few modern stories that I’d consider in my Rereadable category. I've only now come to realize that much of your southerness comes out in your similes and metaphors. They are always strange and colorful and way out of left field. It's a shame the public is force fed Anne Rice instead of stuff like this.
In some ways Bland and poemranker are alike, don’t you think? Was there a little nod to O’Henry in this one with the ironic surprise ending and the title choice? I think this is the best of the two. Certainly the most difficult to write I imagine. One of the few modern stories that I’d consider in my Rereadable category. I've only now come to realize that much of your southerness comes out in your similes and metaphors. They are always strange and colorful and way out of left field. It's a shame the public is force fed Anne Rice instead of stuff like this.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
27 Nov 2005, 8:23 AM
True enough. The worm as metaphor should be laid to rest I suppose. But my mind searches now for other underground dwellers to take it's place. The mole? No Taken. The serpent? No taken. The maggot? Damn you R. Lee Ermey. Taken. Hmmm...Eureka! I've got it. The GRUB. GoeRge BUsh. Whatcha think? I could practically superimpose it onto the word worm. With that done I think Maybe I can focus on a few more stanzas from the Afghan perspective. I hope this is what you meant 'cause I think I really like the Grub metaphor.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
27 Nov 2005, 7:40 AM
LOL
Yeah, That was my little nod to Kubrick and Stone. I thought "How appropriate" but I was surprised and glad someone made the connection and didn't think I did it as a cheap gimmick.
Yeah, That was my little nod to Kubrick and Stone. I thought "How appropriate" but I was surprised and glad someone made the connection and didn't think I did it as a cheap gimmick.
Did you notice every line in your poem is written as a seperate sentence. Caps at the beginning. MS Word?
You need to get personal. Say things that are unique to your situation or perspective. We have no idea who the hell you're talking to. A lover? A friend? A man? A woman? Michael Jackson? Who?
Don't try to write a poem for everyone. If you do it will always turn out the same way. Hokey.
You need to get personal. Say things that are unique to your situation or perspective. We have no idea who the hell you're talking to. A lover? A friend? A man? A woman? Michael Jackson? Who?
Don't try to write a poem for everyone. If you do it will always turn out the same way. Hokey.
replying on A Modern Woman by Dovina
26 Nov 2005, 10:32 AM
You really wouldn't want to know what men are thinking. You'd be disgusted.
replying on A Modern Woman by Dovina
26 Nov 2005, 10:25 AM
That's no surprise. My last girlfriend was 41 remember.
I would have hoped for something more along the line of:
In 50 years womens thoughts will have turned to how best to prepare the manslave's penis, deep fried or fricasseed.
I would have hoped for something more along the line of:
In 50 years womens thoughts will have turned to how best to prepare the manslave's penis, deep fried or fricasseed.
on The Conqueror Worm by zodiac
26 Nov 2005, 2:37 AM
replying on Due Consideration by Dovina
25 Nov 2005, 1:00 PM
I'm getting all verklempt just thinking about it.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 12:56 PM
By "W" I mean the man we sometimes call "W" and the worm also represents a hidden agenda.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 12:24 PM
Which ones are too vague? This is one of the things I was most curious about. I think I can learn alot from the reactions on this poem.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 12:17 PM
Bin Laden is suppose to help localize it to Afghanistan. If I went any further I think I'd be biting off more than I could chew. Slight of hand of justice I think says more than magic of justice. Magic can imply mystical powers where prestidigitation only tends to imply trickery.
replying on The Dreamhole by cyan9
25 Nov 2005, 10:07 AM
Yeah, I tend to be my harshest critic too. Sometimes people like a good jingle.
The third stanza really sounds familiar,(Some song, maybe a PJ Harvey one or something) I wish I could remember it.
The third stanza really sounds familiar,(Some song, maybe a PJ Harvey one or something) I wish I could remember it.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 9:59 AM
My favorite is still "Fade to Black" though.
My Christmas gift to you Dovina.