replying on Due Consideration by Dovina
25 Nov 2005, 4:36 AM
She's gonna be a character in one of your novels. I can just feel it.
replying on A Modern Woman by Dovina
25 Nov 2005, 4:27 AM
I've had a lot of reasons for not sleeping with a girl. Stupidity was never one of them. God I'm such a stereotype.
on The Dreamhole by cyan9
25 Nov 2005, 4:19 AM
It does sound like a lyric, doesn't it. Pretty catchy one too.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 4:11 AM
Thanks. I'm trying a different approach to writing poetry.
replying on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy
25 Nov 2005, 4:09 AM
Poe's or your's? (har-har)
You're right of course. It's too focused on one aspect right now.
I only wrote it just today and I knew I'd need to broaden it.
I just wasn't sure it was worth the bother. It all started with something you said about words you keep on your refrigerator. I did my own version of that and decided on a topic and set out to use at least a few of them in the poem. I chose the worm for these reasons: A conqueror, underground activity, biblical reference, drills into the ground, shiftyness and for the "W". The worm isn't death in this poem although he brings it. The worm is "W". I just can't think of anything yet that fits him better. Once agian I agree with you. There's not enough twists and turns in the road this poem takes. What was your interpretation of the poem's meaning? I wasn't sure if I was being too vague or not enough.
You're right of course. It's too focused on one aspect right now.
I only wrote it just today and I knew I'd need to broaden it.
I just wasn't sure it was worth the bother. It all started with something you said about words you keep on your refrigerator. I did my own version of that and decided on a topic and set out to use at least a few of them in the poem. I chose the worm for these reasons: A conqueror, underground activity, biblical reference, drills into the ground, shiftyness and for the "W". The worm isn't death in this poem although he brings it. The worm is "W". I just can't think of anything yet that fits him better. Once agian I agree with you. There's not enough twists and turns in the road this poem takes. What was your interpretation of the poem's meaning? I wasn't sure if I was being too vague or not enough.
replying on A Modern Woman by Dovina
25 Nov 2005, 12:33 AM
I think your subject is a great one and you should work on this till you hit on something big. I want you to surprise me with things I've never heard from any woman. Tell me the thoughts of women 50 years from now. This is my challenge to you. If you meet it I'll give you a "You go girl" and declare women the superior sex.
on A Modern Woman by Dovina
24 Nov 2005, 6:01 AM
How is that modern. My grandmother could do all those things and probably did and her lifestyle was never more modern than what you might see on The Waltons. Unfortunately you can't meet her because she died in the late 80s. Maybe change modern to free and you might have more of a statement.
The first stanza has nice rhythm.
The first stanza has nice rhythm.
replying on The Fall of Marvin Hyde by cyan9
23 Nov 2005, 10:26 AM
I see. The body creates it's own highly addictive drugs and this can usually be sited as a main factor in why people will do things that make them appear to be on synthetic drugs. I'm glad to hear that this is coming from a sober mind. Somehow it seems to make the poem better knowing that.
replying on i dream in nine minute increments by ay deee
23 Nov 2005, 5:14 AM
Nightmare On Elm Street.
Cheap joke. I wasn't trying to say anything bad about your poem. The dream logic in it is pretty good. Is there a specific reason for not capitalizing?
Cheap joke. I wasn't trying to say anything bad about your poem. The dream logic in it is pretty good. Is there a specific reason for not capitalizing?
replying on Us Sinners by BrandonW
23 Nov 2005, 5:07 AM
I'm saddened that you don't trust me after all this time. :(
replying on Due Consideration by Dovina
22 Nov 2005, 2:26 PM
Yeah. Look what they did to poor sweet little innocent Bethy.
replying on Us Sinners by BrandonW
22 Nov 2005, 2:10 PM
Ah, we come the old how do I know your not bullshitting me line.
The answer of course is you don't know. For all I know you could be a fat bald indian in prison with his dick in his hand right now, or visa-versa. Actually from now on I would prefer you imagine me as that and that the image haunts you in your dreams.
The answer of course is you don't know. For all I know you could be a fat bald indian in prison with his dick in his hand right now, or visa-versa. Actually from now on I would prefer you imagine me as that and that the image haunts you in your dreams.
replying on i dream in nine minute increments by ay deee
22 Nov 2005, 2:02 PM
No, he kept count by the song the little girls sang in the background.
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock the door..."
"One, two, Freddy's coming for you. Three, four, better lock the door..."
replying on Due Consideration by Dovina
22 Nov 2005, 1:56 PM
No I really think this does for timid poets what the Heimlich maneuver did for choke victims.
replying on Us Sinners by BrandonW
22 Nov 2005, 7:53 AM
Yep.
But they were all perfect in their own way.
One I almost married. Wanna go 2 for 2.
But they were all perfect in their own way.
One I almost married. Wanna go 2 for 2.
replying on Us Sinners by BrandonW
22 Nov 2005, 7:36 AM
My last three girlfriends: 19 - 33 - 41
Guess which one was the most perfect in bed.
Guess which one was the most perfect in bed.
on One Second by TLRufener
22 Nov 2005, 6:14 AM
Sounds like Eminem for some reason. Maybe I read it too fast.
replying on leah by T. Jonathron Remp
22 Nov 2005, 6:00 AM
Just kiddin' TJR.
replying on leah by T. Jonathron Remp
22 Nov 2005, 5:54 AM
Sarcasm is one of the simplest forms of comedy and is most often used by clueless highschool kids who lack the imagination or skill to say anything wittier than the exact opposite of what they are thinking. With that said I'll make my leave and allow you two lovebirds go back to your makeout session.
TJR, if your poetry were as well thought out as this comment of yours than you would never hear a negetive word from me. Really.
TJR, if your poetry were as well thought out as this comment of yours than you would never hear a negetive word from me. Really.
Dictionary.com's backlist of "words of the day" is like a goldmine for the stumped writer.
p.s. This approach has probably been done before but it's new to me. I love when I experiment with artforms because I have no idea what kind of reaction I'm going to get. It's curiously thrilling.