replying on Small-town Postal Clerk Considers Inspiration by zodiac
16 Sep 2005, 9:36 AM
Try Longfellow.
on Leaving Song by wilco
16 Sep 2005, 7:47 AM
PS: Oh and God? Could you make my penis grow another inch?...
Thanks God.
Hey there ladies.
Thanks God.
Hey there ladies.
on oh how far are we from wilderness by tianyi
16 Sep 2005, 7:41 AM
I like everything except all the "Ohs". Makes you sound like Dorothy in Oz.
replying on My addict by Heather Dee
16 Sep 2005, 6:44 AM
I live just outside Charlotte.
Ya some of dem folk don't speak too clirr.
Ya some of dem folk don't speak too clirr.
replying on My addict by Heather Dee
14 Sep 2005, 6:33 PM
Maybe if your Chingy.
I live in the south. I have not heard anyone say mirr or firr. So thirr.
I live in the south. I have not heard anyone say mirr or firr. So thirr.
on the birds are bugs by ay deee
13 Sep 2005, 2:42 AM
"they have like a
violiny sound to them"-?
Y'all not yall.
violiny sound to them"-?
Y'all not yall.
on to all of you by Heather Dee
13 Sep 2005, 2:37 AM
Consider yourself lucky if you get constructive remarks. Alot of people here just want to make fun of others.
Start with free-verse it's easier to pull off.
Read some of the masters.
Find those poems that speak to you and study them and there authors to death.
Use cheats like dictionaries, thesauruses and rhymezone.com.
Then decide you don't give a fuck what the assholes think and write on.
Start with free-verse it's easier to pull off.
Read some of the masters.
Find those poems that speak to you and study them and there authors to death.
Use cheats like dictionaries, thesauruses and rhymezone.com.
Then decide you don't give a fuck what the assholes think and write on.
replying on My addict by Heather Dee
13 Sep 2005, 2:10 AM
That's a feat of dialect even the Cockneys might have trouble pulling off. If the rest of the poem had a loose rhyme style it might work but right now it's a sore thumb.
The (I) sounds are different in the two words. One lifts, one drops.
The (I) sounds are different in the two words. One lifts, one drops.
on Tall Windows by tianyi
12 Sep 2005, 3:28 PM
Nice snapshot.
replying on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy
12 Sep 2005, 3:18 PM
I apologize for assuming you were as stupid as you appeared,
But you do it so convincingly.
You are the Howard Stern of Poemranker.
Congrats.
But you do it so convincingly.
You are the Howard Stern of Poemranker.
Congrats.
replying on My addict by Heather Dee
11 Sep 2005, 8:19 PM
I rarely score.
Besides a score is 20 and the ranks only go to 10.
How do you pronounce "mirror"? 'Cause when I say it, it doesn't even remotely rhyme with "tears". Try "terror".
This poem is half finished. You've got the thoughts and feelings laid out but you need to develop an approach and style that is uniquely you and doesn't sound like every other rehab poem. The idea of the person in the mirror being a different you is a good approach but still quite cliche'. If you were to actually do a dialogue where the mirror talks back (Like "Quote the mirror. Nevermore.") then that might grab our attention. Right now what you seem to have is journal poetry. Poetry used for purposes focused on the author and not the reader. Read some Edgar Allan Poe. He'll help you find the fear, addiction, and psychological struggle you want to express.
Besides a score is 20 and the ranks only go to 10.
How do you pronounce "mirror"? 'Cause when I say it, it doesn't even remotely rhyme with "tears". Try "terror".
This poem is half finished. You've got the thoughts and feelings laid out but you need to develop an approach and style that is uniquely you and doesn't sound like every other rehab poem. The idea of the person in the mirror being a different you is a good approach but still quite cliche'. If you were to actually do a dialogue where the mirror talks back (Like "Quote the mirror. Nevermore.") then that might grab our attention. Right now what you seem to have is journal poetry. Poetry used for purposes focused on the author and not the reader. Read some Edgar Allan Poe. He'll help you find the fear, addiction, and psychological struggle you want to express.
on Be Free Ye by D. $ Fontera
11 Sep 2005, 7:35 PM
If Dr. Suess wrote a minstrel version of a Shakespearean play during a coke binge.
on Moving Out by jessicazee
11 Sep 2005, 7:21 PM
I'll give you an 8 because you can spell vacuum which is more than at least two other poets can do.
on The Innocence of a Child by Tainted Butterfly
11 Sep 2005, 6:34 PM
The simplicity, sweetness and flow of this poem actually works for the subject. Good ear but try approaching subjects from unexpected angles.
on My addict by Heather Dee
11 Sep 2005, 4:46 PM
Courtney Love! Is that you?
replying on Out of a White Hole by ALChemy
11 Sep 2005, 4:36 PM
I wish I knew what abstractions you were talking about.
on My Big Butt by Dovina
11 Sep 2005, 3:59 PM
"36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"
A full booty is beautiful.
Only if she's 5'3"
A full booty is beautiful.