on Stripes by JMakStak
7 Jun 2007, 4:13 PM
The language is brilliant.
on some deleted poem
11 Jun 2007, 3:50 PM
I always thought old peoples bones just kinda crumbled, learned something today.
on Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina
11 Jun 2007, 3:57 PM
I like this especially the last stanza, it has quite a lazy feel to it, and I found it quite a matter-of-fact read. Like I guess they take whatever comes along as part of their life.
on Call Someone Right Away by jessicazee
7 Jun 2007, 3:44 PM
Pretty funny - darkly so, but a fair and just thankyou to your rescuer.
on some deleted poem
4 Jun 2007, 6:15 PM
nice grab on challenges...
on some deleted poem
4 Jun 2007, 6:05 PM
Now this you can get your mind into...nice!
on Delicious Ann and the Magic Ham (Prose...I'm ashamed) by D. $ Fontera
31 May 2007, 9:12 AM
Don't know why I like this...
on some deleted poem
7 Jun 2007, 3:51 PM
The Bee Gee's stayin' Alive came rushing to my head when I first read this. It has a very 70's feel to it, maybe it's because all the guys' stash was so very much on show back then.
on No-Strings by sca
7 Jun 2007, 4:02 PM
Some great lines - not sure about the third stanza, doesn't really speak of the rebel, just some things that sound kinda rebellious.
on The kissing chair incident by Stephen Robins
7 Jun 2007, 4:17 PM
Blackpool? Great little tale - true story?
Surely there has been a ban on those suits of shell for years!
I feel this wibbles and wobbles in places, could be tighter.
Surely there has been a ban on those suits of shell for years!
I feel this wibbles and wobbles in places, could be tighter.
on Cephalonia by Caducus
7 Jun 2007, 4:10 PM
For some hollywood reason I was wanting her to have been the one who killed him, for moaning about her bread. Is that what was meant or is the first stanza a little misleading? Or am I just being twisted?
on some deleted poem
7 Jun 2007, 4:26 PM
Not sure about the context but I feel there are too many 'i' sounds in the one area. The last line - make me fly toward you or make me fly to where you are. I'm no expert on english but the way you wrote it doesn't seem to fit right. Could just be me, wouldn't be the first time.
This seems fairly dark and for that I like it.
This seems fairly dark and for that I like it.
on The Story of Wolf and Moon by Blackshadow
31 May 2007, 9:27 AM
Love the story - but the spacing distracted me a little
on some deleted poem
29 May 2007, 6:09 AM
LOL...nice!
the wonderous sofa-shaped arse
the wonderous sofa-shaped arse
on Alive at 95 by nypoet22
31 May 2007, 9:34 AM
first two stanzas set me up with a rhythm, and the last three tripped me up a little...
on Sunset Beach by amanda_dcosta
31 May 2007, 9:22 AM
I do love to think in colour - but I can't get the image out of my head of seagulls with nice white teeth!
on Rolling Bells by MacFrantic
31 May 2007, 9:07 AM
molesting - dragging - torturing, and all things associated with the living...so visual here. Still not entirely sure this has clicked in its meaning with me, but I get lost in the movement within.
on surgical spite by calliope
29 May 2007, 5:55 AM
I get the feel of emo - but the cuz in the last line doesn't fit with the rest of the write. You could lose it and keep with the darkness, it lightens the write too much - almost childish.
on some deleted poem
29 May 2007, 6:01 AM
don't like this...too bland and matter-of-fact
on Close your eyes but keep your mind wide open by darylchew
29 May 2007, 6:07 AM
(I'm sorry, that seat is taken.) great line - work back from there and shorten your sentences - pull it all in tight and the image will just pop...