on Mice by MacFrantic
6 Jul 2007, 11:13 AM
nice rhythm. the rhymes are a little overused though. "pretend" "end" and "best" "test" and "run" "sun" they seem a little elementary.
on Runaway by Cougarchic
6 Jul 2007, 11:07 AM
i think this could be shortened, or slightly less repetitive, you use the same word- ex stayed and run and away too often. change it up a little.
on I never Knew..... by SkateBoardGurl5799
5 Jul 2007, 2:13 PM
sounds like another tragic washed-up teenage story. far too common.
on Understand by Luv2write
5 Jul 2007, 2:09 PM
expresses something that i think everyone has felt at some time or another. very true.
on Aesgntor by MacFrantic
2 Jul 2007, 7:55 AM
wonderful.
on Sweet Anguish by sonawrote
1 Jul 2007, 4:13 PM
didnt like it at first but after reading it a few times i think it grows on you.
on A Way to Wander by MacFrantic
1 Jul 2007, 4:09 PM
makes you think. interesting.
on To My Little Known Love by MacFrantic
29 Jun 2007, 10:29 AM
it seems slightly repetitave, and overall sad, but it's something that a lot of people can relate to.
on China, Silver, and an Emerald Lipstick by Enkidu
28 Jun 2007, 11:57 AM
it's sad that it's so true. well written though.
on Q For Some Reason by MacFrantic
28 Jun 2007, 11:56 AM
could be the story of a teenagers life these days. thoughtful.