on Eleven Reasons For Love by horus8
11 Apr 2007, 9:23 AM
Yo, Horus. Scramble this like eggs, lose the numeration, smatter the questions, and watch it fly.
on Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha
13 Apr 2007, 8:11 PM
You're a nut. Fix your weblog thingy. 6 For attempting the villanelle. 2 for not trying to go too far over your abilities. 1 for putting up with Rockmage.
on The Corner Tavern by jessicazee
19 Apr 2007, 8:26 AM
Suggestions:
Line 2 I'm in a raffle kind of mood
Line 5 lose -stools go with vinyl perches
6/7 lose for.
Will it go 'round in circles?
Line 2 I'm in a raffle kind of mood
Line 5 lose -stools go with vinyl perches
6/7 lose for.
Will it go 'round in circles?
on some deleted poem
27 Jun 2007, 5:54 AM
Gawd !
on Consider the Grass by Dovina
3 Jul 2007, 8:01 AM
There's still some trimming to be done.
Resilient, a lesson, can go.
Possibly- efficient, as well. Like the silo as a cola can.
Maybe not so much awe. Just watching, I think would be better.
Resilient, a lesson, can go.
Possibly- efficient, as well. Like the silo as a cola can.
Maybe not so much awe. Just watching, I think would be better.
on Nothing to See Here (Rant) by Skamper
3 Jul 2007, 8:17 AM
I see potential beyond the break beat. I'd like to see you work this poem. w/h vote.
on some deleted poem
3 Jul 2007, 8:18 AM
plunk.
on some deleted poem
4 Jul 2007, 7:12 AM
Line 13 I'd like to see a comma after-with clarity.
The rest seems fine, Cristof got the typos. Model t against ferraris. Vivid !
The rest seems fine, Cristof got the typos. Model t against ferraris. Vivid !
on light [edited] by lmp
4 Jul 2007, 7:18 AM
Good on you for sicking with it. I know the facts, but what if you substituted a peach instead. The colors mix better. Grapefruits tend to be more defined. Not to mention it's an acidic fruit. Ah the challenge of haiku.
on Summer Loving by Christof
6 Jul 2007, 7:13 AM
Are you putting the -bottom of class against her heels?
Raising her up, Physically and metaphorically, so to speak? It's the only thing that seems to carry no weight. I think the- Oh, bottom of class- is there without the statement.
Raising her up, Physically and metaphorically, so to speak? It's the only thing that seems to carry no weight. I think the- Oh, bottom of class- is there without the statement.
on Cheers to the Eve of Christmas by lexxie100
6 Jul 2007, 7:18 AM
I think the first four lines could be condensed into one strong line. Mascara stains on the pillow should stay I think. -looking for the craven escape/ making the wind more bearable- is really good.
on some deleted poem
6 Jul 2007, 7:20 AM
I'd try to get- prism colored- on the first line somehow.
on some deleted poem
7 Jul 2007, 11:38 AM
I think this is longer than it needs to be. Love stanza 6. Really, It just needs a thorough pruning.
on Miles Apart, You Say by Dovina
7 Jul 2007, 8:46 AM
yes, I think I'm going to let it ride.
on some deleted poem
7 Jul 2007, 11:41 AM
Small and clear.
on Body Worlds by Dental Panic
7 Jul 2007, 11:45 AM
Arier with cheer? You're so wierd !
S-1 -mystery too- old architecture automatically has acertain mystery that comes with it. Perhaps a little about what this 'techture is.
I really like s3'4'5, though I think you have said more than you need to. Pick your favorite lines and cut the rest. No easy task, I know. I do like this.