on Hardcore Denial or Sumpin'. by Shardik
11 Aug 2003, 7:15 AM
Start-up to wheels-up, sans warm up. Gone.
on Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy
11 Aug 2003, 7:06 AM
I think s-1 l-3 is unnecessarily long. s-6, (soon),finally, maybe? s-9 opposite coasts? I'm a truck driver and verified by my atlas: Sagadahoc county,ME, Auburn, Lewiston area. To: Hudson, N.Y., I don't think you'd see much of CT. More like Mass. I am aware that this may be fiction(though it sounds like it may have happened, parts of it at least), This is one of my few areas of knowledge. That's my (big) ding on this. S-12 startle(d). S-13 drop the paranthetical, make 'em look it up. also, why only oral? I would think one would want to "access all areas", especially trying to go through such nonsense. Finally, S-13 (accelerating), breaking pace again, maybe.
On a positive note, I really enjoyed this, and I think poetandknowit has a challenger in the poetry/prose arena.
On a positive note, I really enjoyed this, and I think poetandknowit has a challenger in the poetry/prose arena.
replying on Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy
10 Aug 2003, 8:24 PM
Not necessarily. I understood what was happening when it wasn't. what did I just say? First good read covered it. I'll read it again tomorrow and offer what little help I can. Unless someone beats me to it first.
on Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8
8 Aug 2003, 8:21 PM
Still the man with brass balls filled with solid gold dancers. or had his way with solid gold dancers.
replying on Myopic Labotomized Hubris by Retaliate
8 Aug 2003, 4:29 PM
I'm not sure anything on either side of the pond makes much sense anymore. But, what do I know. I'm just a blue collar brute poorly passing myself off as a poetic pansy. Ha!
on Portsmouth belle 3 by Garrett S Sexton
8 Aug 2003, 4:21 PM
S-4 obviously. and the last line can lose (amongst) and simplify and still be ok.
replying on Looking down by INTRANSIT
8 Aug 2003, 4:16 PM
The only thing I changed was (cloisonne). To make the chasm prettier, more attractive to fall into.But still it's lacking alot. Maybe after the weekend I'll tear into it and do a ground-up workover.
replying on Myopic Labotomized Hubris by Retaliate
8 Aug 2003, 1:00 PM
why do we have the wrong set of educated fucks in "office"?
replying on Three Brothers by EAger to Offend
8 Aug 2003, 12:56 PM
You think that was good? You should see poetandknowit and horus 8 go fist-to-cuffs. Tyson got nuthin' on those two. love the rhyme scheme btw.
replying on For my wife by INTRANSIT
8 Aug 2003, 7:00 AM
Why is it you can't say exactly what you want me to do? C'mon. How about some confirmation. I wanna hear it. No more ring around the roses, damnit.
replying on I An Anew (re edit) by scitz
8 Aug 2003, 6:55 AM
copy that.
replying on blue lilac and I (edit) by richa
8 Aug 2003, 6:36 AM
pardon me. "bowl faced".
on I An Anew (re edit) by scitz
8 Aug 2003, 6:30 AM
rids? or rides. thats the only thing that trips me.
replying on blue lilac and I (edit) by richa
8 Aug 2003, 6:08 AM
I wonder if the trombone is an actual sound or he heard the "fluting" of the flower. "bowl like" is mentioned earlier. another similar shape, maybe.
replying on Looking down by INTRANSIT
8 Aug 2003, 6:03 AM
Don't worry about it. Nobody kicks like poetandknowit. The whole thing is about travelling the "straight and narrow" and temptation and failure.
on Three Brothers by EAger to Offend
8 Aug 2003, 5:59 AM
You just described most rankers!
replying on Looking down by INTRANSIT
7 Aug 2003, 8:13 PM
better?
replying on Looking down by INTRANSIT
7 Aug 2003, 8:05 PM
I cheated with the lunatic fringes too. god I suck at this.
on blue lilac and I (edit) by richa
7 Aug 2003, 4:55 PM
...angered by salmon.... but it doesn't fit the tone of your piece. I'm green with anchovies.Sorry, dont like the trombone. another instrument maybe.
on Myopic Labotomized Hubris by Retaliate
7 Aug 2003, 4:50 PM
Go ahead and hit the brake. Just let me change lanes first.