poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Dan garcia-Black (301-320)

Comments byDan garcia-Black, 301–320 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 3 Jul 2004, 7:22 PM
I'll always remember, the first I heard that Brando was dead was through a poem. Who needs TV?
Yeah, Stella, it was time.
on Translation by Dovina 3 Jul 2004, 7:32 PM
It is very beautiful.
on Lady Bradbury’s Excursion by Dovina 1 Jul 2004, 7:47 PM
I'm lucky. With my ruffles over my head, I stand to tinkle and make the wood donut even more dreadful on future other's hindquarters.
on Revision by Dovina 29 Jun 2004, 9:16 AM
Sounds like a lover's quarrel with this site. In that spirit, You're telling me not showing me. Who made that reprobate Bukowski god? In line 5 try replacing dismayed with repulsed (what is the opposite of seduced?).-9-
on Captain Napkin Starring In "The Passion Of Napkin" by horus8 29 Jun 2004, 9:02 AM
Cute.
on some deleted poem 29 Jun 2004, 9:31 AM
"assume big joy and nothing at all" great line.
A flat ball.
A wet newspaper.
Some broken glass.
My daughter
All things ruined? As the poem continues, I feel resolution approaching. The end confirms my feelings. It lit the gasoline fumes and exploded for me. I think I need a cigarette. -10-
on Titleist and Socrates by MacFrantic 29 Jun 2004, 9:51 AM
Fun to imagine as one reads, sees the threesome walking along, the caddy asking question after question while Tiger gets annoyed and Ari smiles at his old teacher's complete lack of golf etiquette.
on Black streets of Hackney by cpill 29 Jun 2004, 10:01 AM
Do you think "The Clash" was at fault? Hard to decipher.
on some deleted poem 29 Jun 2004, 10:04 AM
I hear it saying that it's OK to be alone. -10-
on Sustained by Dovina 28 Jun 2004, 9:18 AM
Never, never, never end a poem with a word that ends in -ing. It weakens the impact. What were you thinking? Oh, gerunds, too, are words you should not be using. -10- I found the poem to my liking.
on The Riddle of Creation by Dovina 23 Jun 2004, 7:22 AM
Perfect for "Seventh Day Adventist's Monthly." Not my pint of ale. Why do we capitalize the word god? It can't be a name. Isn't it an occupation? It is a little like capitalizing the word mechanic or poet. I'll stick to capitalizing only the name of god, Guinness, Jose Cuervo and the like. I know, hate the subject not the poem. -9-
on some deleted poem 22 Jun 2004, 8:19 AM
It doesn't work as a limerick because the last four lines don't scan. However, as free verse it is what it is but rhyming anus with Uranus is like rhyming cool with McCool. Were you trying for a limerick?
on The Sea (revised) by Dovina 22 Jun 2004, 8:30 AM
Good.
#1 why clean clear not clean, clear?
#2 why not
And after that
I loved the sea.
Was it for form's sake?
Besides, I like repulsive pink people at the beach... especially with wasabi, soy sauce and a side of ginger.
on Drunk and Fucked Up by wilco 22 Jun 2004, 8:35 AM
Resonates.
last chance cigarette
drunk & fucked up (two different states of being?)
Yeah.
on some deleted poem 22 Jun 2004, 8:40 AM
Nice denouement. Sad though.
on Center Of The Universe by Dovina 21 Jun 2004, 7:53 AM
I fill with wonder.
on some deleted poem 21 Jun 2004, 8:18 AM
Yes to all of the above and, probably, to all of the below.
on some deleted poem 21 Jun 2004, 8:26 AM
Great but the last ten lines reworked could make it stronger. Was it a necklace or a chain, I wonder.
on Navy Pier by Doug 20 Jun 2004, 12:27 PM
Feels like T.S. in the line about the silly laughter and in the almost "non-sequitur" feel in the lines about the skin, sweat and sun that bring it all together. Love it.
on Army Dock (Bangcock in July) (Free Curse) by Rug by <{Baba^Yaga}> 19 Jun 2004, 7:51 PM
Did you mean "odd" instead of "queer"in the first line?
Are the piss and shit references about the Asian SARS epidemic?
I think the Bangcock in the title is self explanitory. Am I right?
"Asswagon's blender," Daiquiris?
Help! I'm trying to understand the "walk on the wild side."

Lot's of strong images -8-