on Los Angeles by Dovina
8 Aug 2004, 9:28 AM
How is this haiku?
replying on The World Through One Eye by timtonio
7 Aug 2004, 8:40 AM
That being the case, I delete my comment due to lack of understanding your poem on my part.
on The Glow of the Sun by QuirkyWonder
6 Aug 2004, 8:46 AM
Is this a rewrite? It is evocative (because I can never spell reminiscent without a spell checker) of a poem I thought I remember seeing posted here before this. However, I enjoyed this one more than the last. It has an "uplift" at the end.
on Honey by Jeremi B. Handrinos
6 Aug 2004, 8:25 AM
Something about this is...
on Solid Understanding by Dovina
6 Aug 2004, 8:10 AM
The inimate moment is lost not only the expression? If that is the meaning then the 2nd verse could use a bit o' rewrite. At this public moment -8-
on Concussion + Broken Hearts= bad week by New Life Drug
6 Aug 2004, 8:05 AM
Imagine how bad it would have been
Without the Vicodin!
Without the Vicodin!
I think that Zodiac once(perhaps more) refered to me as a "dimtard.' If that comment had been in regard to my comment on this poem, I would have to agree. Yeah, I see what you mean about the masts brushing. Don't know about haiku commas but there should be a natural caesura at the end of each line. If I had read more carefully, I might have caught the masts waiting and the sheets brushing. Too much lack of Alcohol last night. Three weeks and counting the seconds.
on Brats by D. $ Fontera
4 Aug 2004, 7:55 AM
Nice re-write.
on Sugared Giraffes by Venus
4 Aug 2004, 7:54 AM
Curiously evocative.
on Wha wha guitar by wnot Dovinaw
3 Aug 2004, 7:20 PM
"Spoofing of other users is not permitted."
This is not a spoof. A spoof would be written in the style of ___________(insert poet). This poem is not written in the style of Dovina. It is written in the style of >not Dovina<. Therefore it is just a freaky, jerky elementary school rhyme. It should take its place next to "fat, fat the water rat," "I see Paris. I see France. I see someone's underpants" and so many others in that genre. -5- for showing up and posting.
This is not a spoof. A spoof would be written in the style of ___________(insert poet). This poem is not written in the style of Dovina. It is written in the style of >not Dovina<. Therefore it is just a freaky, jerky elementary school rhyme. It should take its place next to "fat, fat the water rat," "I see Paris. I see France. I see someone's underpants" and so many others in that genre. -5- for showing up and posting.
on two by unknown^user
2 Aug 2004, 8:11 AM
Wow. Best phrase-"propheteering ministers."
on Mushroom Potion #9 by <{Baba^Yaga}>
2 Aug 2004, 8:08 AM
A modern kind of "I sing the Body Electric." I like it.
on Consolation by Dovina
1 Aug 2004, 9:44 PM
Shoot 'im.
on You Can't Kill A Dead Man! by dougsoderstrom
31 Jul 2004, 5:31 PM
Haiku- 17 syllables, three lines, 5-7-5.
Even though
"You can not kill a
dead man and I am not a-
fraid to die, Buddy"
has the right syllable count, it doesn't stay true to form. I hate forms.
But I like a good line to say when I'm drunk at a bar and some other poet is calling me out(to fight, not to dance). Come to think about it, it works for either happenstance.-5-
Even though
"You can not kill a
dead man and I am not a-
fraid to die, Buddy"
has the right syllable count, it doesn't stay true to form. I hate forms.
But I like a good line to say when I'm drunk at a bar and some other poet is calling me out(to fight, not to dance). Come to think about it, it works for either happenstance.-5-
on Barflies and Bombshells by wilco
31 Jul 2004, 5:13 PM
A second kiss? Not one last roll in the hay? You get the -9- points because you didn't ask for a -69- before the bombshell drops her drawers.
replying on The wispears of the night by XxRuby_KillsXx
31 Jul 2004, 5:06 PM
To my wispy ears the undead are not dead people but those still alive. People around this poet are telling the poet to join them. The decision made to keep walking can mean suicide is imminent just as much as the idea of walking away from suicide is possible. The wispears of the living seem to have made the poet feel uncultivated (fallowed). A tip that the undead are alive is the line when the word "homicide" makes all fall silent. Ghosts or the living dead cannot fear homicide. I fear there is more here than meets the ear.
replying on The wispears of the night by XxRuby_KillsXx
31 Jul 2004, 4:50 PM
U no bedder dan dat.
on The wispears of the night by XxRuby_KillsXx
31 Jul 2004, 3:27 PM
The misspellings and lack of punctuation may be a "style" or a "voice" the writer is trying to convey. I need more input before I judge the poet's spelling and grammar level. -5-