poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Dan garcia-Black (221-240) and replies

Comments byDan garcia-Black, 221–240 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina 31 Jul 2004, 3:08 PM
You're two for two.
on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina 31 Jul 2004, 9:12 AM
A Ranticle about god is angst that aggravates misunderstanding. Just remember the sentence. "What Would Jesus Do?" Keep in mind "We're all dying (some faster than others)." Ah there's the peace we seek. -9-
on Mors Omnia Solvit by shit 30 Jul 2004, 8:29 AM
Permanent solution to temporary situation. May I have your shotgun when you're finished, Kurt?
on Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk by Venus 28 Jul 2004, 8:25 AM
The indentation differentiating between Then and Now works very well.
on Brats by D. $ Fontera 27 Jul 2004, 7:42 PM
I know it would be a major grammar gaff but I hear it as "He brat, She brat, You brat, Me brat." Even so, it's endearing.
on Wake Up by unouluvme 27 Jul 2004, 7:34 PM
It seems to mean something to me, if I read it thusly,

Wake up
Sprint to burial grounds
Pool around you
let it be water
Cards have spoken
Don’t wait
walls will advance
Worlds will shrink
ears will give way
Cling to a cliché
Kiss the poison as the antidote
Speak expectations to listen
Let fragrance engulf you
Did you sleep?

A poem of contradictions. Why not?
on The Serpent People by horus8 27 Jul 2004, 7:19 PM
Yeah! Yea! Yes!
on The Annual January Thaw by Dovina 27 Jul 2004, 7:10 PM
Great last two lines! The reversal of whom is against what took me a re-read to get. Well worth it to someone who thinks a hike is walking to the corner 7-11 instead of taking the car.
replying on Cranberry shoes by INTRANSIT 27 Jul 2004, 10:32 AM
Phommasanh is the name of an athlete from Laos.
on Gap-Fold vs. Sour Milk by Venus 27 Jul 2004, 10:29 AM
I think it needs a refrain. Maybe just a shorter refrain. "Once... there was freshly laundered attire"
"Now... there are tank tops, etc." Let us figure out what happened. Good poem. Great ending.
on Cranberry shoes by INTRANSIT 27 Jul 2004, 9:42 AM
Bitter-sweet Laotian candy. Good prose.
on Fear by Mona Lisa 24 Jul 2004, 7:50 PM
Don't jump! Here's a -7-. Write on, right on.
on Bad animal limericks by INTRANSIT 24 Jul 2004, 7:48 PM
The turtle wins!-9-
on Respect on a Quiet Hillside by Dovina 24 Jul 2004, 7:22 PM
Love it. How does "They paid their respects" instead of "did it" sound to you? Grandpaw was such a 'perv' (in a good way).
on Summer by Dovina 22 Jul 2004, 7:45 PM
Good images. The meter hold true throughout until the end. I guess if you're going to break rhythm that's the place to do it. But, somehow, the loss of those two beats at the end of the last line is disconcerting.
replying on Poor Unwritten Rabbit by Dovina 20 Jul 2004, 8:55 AM
BTW, I think that the lack of connective tissue between phrases, sentences and images makes for a slower read. It gives the poem time to form in my thoughts and the end is stronger for your style.
on Poor Unwritten Rabbit by Dovina 20 Jul 2004, 8:52 AM
I never see rabbits when I'm driving at night unless they are wearing red, reflective tape. You have a good eye.
replying on Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina 19 Jul 2004, 9:56 AM
Some of the gay guys with whom I work tell me that condoms taste like escargot when sautéed in butter and garlic with a large baguette on the side. You may not hate them if try them that way. I prefer a tongue taco instead. JK, W. Oh, I almost forgot. Get a ribbed condom, turn it inside out and then put it on. Wow, those ribs rock.
on It's all over now that you're writing so by fevriere 19 Jul 2004, 9:00 AM
Could use some paring
on Never Ceasing to Amaze by wilco 19 Jul 2004, 8:36 AM
Never said better.