poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Caducus (241-260) and replies

Comments byCaducus, 241–260 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Child of Troy by Caducus 27 May 2004, 2:06 PM
Amendments made you're right. The end however I have to disagree and think it says everything I wanted to convey.

Good to see you still on here.

Oh and i was a part of the childs brief history, before she prematurely ages by following her mothers lifestyle
on Truckers should not be poets by INTRANSIT 17 May 2004, 10:59 AM
a welcome epilogue of mr intransit, cool - likey !
on Diary entry (edit) by richa 14 Apr 2004, 5:51 AM
Agree with horus, the 1st stanza is quite expuisite in the way it is written. You are a fine talent richard.
replying on Somewhere In Islam by Caducus 13 Apr 2004, 3:20 PM
Thanks for the corrections and timeout.
on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 12 Apr 2004, 11:42 AM
real moving man.
on EGG by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 12 Apr 2004, 11:41 AM
True to the title
replying on Swan Lake by Caducus 8 Apr 2004, 3:11 PM
Throwing pebbles in to the water whenyour melancholy.
replying on Bread Wine And Chocolate by Caducus 1 Apr 2004, 9:58 AM
you got it - thanks for reading it
on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin 30 Mar 2004, 5:15 AM
perfect end too
on A Flower for Monet by Shuushin 30 Mar 2004, 5:15 AM
Hat tipped - great wordplay.
on The Punk With The Stutter by Joe-joe 30 Mar 2004, 5:14 AM
I lost my father recently at kensington, was he wearing a green wax jacket?
on Lullaby by Goad 25 Jan 2004, 3:11 AM
Liked the way you vividly illustrate a poem. The part about the pigs ear was excellent. This to me came alive and kicking from S2. The opening 3 lines didn't grab me and I'm barren as to why. The ending lingered in my thoughts and a very well crafted poem - but hey what the hell do i know? 9
replying on A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus 25 Jan 2004, 2:52 AM
I agree with all your suggestions and will try and deal with each one in the right mood and tone for the type of poem. The grammatical errors i should have noticed. What I tried to evoke in the point about the limp and loving words was his limp was from abuse but the loving words passed on to his son was his resolute determination in not being like HIS Father. He limped physically but never emotionally. 'Solace would be found in the hills' maybe I could say something like 'Solace could be found in the sheperding hills' (but more brief), Mother instead of Mum Iused Mum as its more earthly. I thought about trying to add a line in to why my Mum was in the hills that day but couldn't integrate anything in to a line.

Thank you for your points as it is obvious to me that you have picked up on relevant weaknesses and i'll try and sort it.
on Once the moon turned me into a hairy vagina by horus8 24 Jan 2004, 3:51 PM
Sounds like the lost page of genesis.

The 1st line grabs and so the 8th
on To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT 24 Jan 2004, 3:48 PM
Love the notions of being who we ARE and not what others want us to be.

A real archers bowfinger to conformity.
on Anvil man by INTRANSIT 31 Dec 2003, 6:09 AM
Excellent title.
This could have been quite tedious but your a wordsmith meister and i have to say mr intransit....this is one of your best. (in my op) 10

deserves hits.
on Chaos & his dreamchild (genesis) --Revised Edition-- by SupremeDreamer 31 Dec 2003, 6:07 AM
Liked it, one reason i did was because it has at least 2 parts it can be ended with an impact.

Loved the 1st 3 big time.
on The wise by richa 31 Dec 2003, 6:01 AM
of a half-formed thought,
just the uneven lines of
every faked smile.

This made me feel how aging is a complete waste of time if this is the case.

Classy.
on She is A Lover Deep Within by Joe-joe 12 Dec 2003, 2:12 PM
For your young years you are a fine writer.

I am mr pig too joe joe.
on The Glint by peaceseeker 12 Dec 2003, 2:10 PM
Though I dislike your attitude I must say a 4 is unfair.

I actually think this shows a side to of you I like and the word play is good. TAstes like diamonds I don't get?

________8________