Re: a comment on =, <>, & . . . by Dovina	2-Mar-06/9:24 AM
No match for Bobjim's ascii submissions, I'm afraid.
Re: Under the Spoon by MacFrantic	2-Mar-06/9:22 AM
Good fun, this poem. In keeping with recent trends here, 'Alligator' should be changed to 'masturbator'. Seriously, it would work.
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/9:19 AM
ALChemy must be a terror in fast-food restaurants - "I'll have a Big Crack and large Cock, please."
Re: a comment on Beauty, sleeping by Ranger	2-Mar-06/7:37 AM
Yes, I agree totally...the revised version of this was much better.
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/7:30 AM
Oh dear... I should have realised that Freud would have a field day with this poem.
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/7:19 AM
I don't know that it's a metaphor as such...it's kind of a double bluff pun. The planet is 'caged' (hence the 'prison' reference) in the lens - the lens being not necessarily a prism, but similar in conjuring up images, colours different from our normal perception. I knew what I was talking about when I wrote the line...I think...
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/7:15 AM
Dammit, if I can't gather information from poemranker I'll never make it as a private eye...
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/6:54 AM
Possibly, although I tend not to repeat verbs if possible. It's certainly going to require some thought.
Re: =, <>, & . . . by Dovina	2-Mar-06/4:28 AM
I thought this was going to be a poem about <~> at first...
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/4:20 AM
The beacon lit was a little imagery for the reflection of Venus in the lens - the lens being his desire for marriage etc. etc. etc. A brass ring would have been a more accurate description for a telescope, but what would your reaction be if your lover gave you a brass ring in proposition? Also, I felt that the cockerel seemed to fit nicely as a reflection of the man - a rooster is settled in his familial position, whereas the cockerel is not. The young man is more likely to wake early to try to win the lady of his affection (shit, I sound so pretentious here...). I tried to fit a change to the imagery with that as well; I had the idea of the ring being crafted by the falling of a metalsmith's hammer, but the hammer turning to that of a judge in 'sentencing' the man to failure (hence the courtroom imagery in "risen, tense" splitting to resemble 'rise' and 'sentence', and of course the final condemnation).
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/4:08 AM
"Rosehip mist" was intended as an alternative to 'rose-tinted glasses', and phrases of that ilk. My image of it was of a frost, then a light fog, very subtly red when seen under Mars (the man) but white like Venus in reality (which then served the purpose of stanza 2). "Prism" was a play on 'prison', the planet being 'trapped' in a way within the telescope lens (the 'round glass eye' also being the man's longing for Venus).
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	2-Mar-06/4:01 AM
I gather that your conversation on smoofle's last post turned to horse-screwing, so I'd feel somewhat left out if you didn't include me... Your conversations really make the ranker all the more worthwhile!
Re: a comment on Beauty, sleeping (revised) by Ranger	2-Mar-06/3:56 AM
Well this is the last one I posted before I took a break from poemranker; to be honest nothing of mine earlier than this one is really worth reading (except possibly the 'Mannequin' one) - I just keep them on here to remind me how much I've learnt and progressed. The votes mean nothing, these were still the days of vote manipulation here. Plus, you must take into account rockmage's epic zero spree..I wondered if I'd personally insulted him somehow but it would seem that he zeroed pretty much every other poem on this site as well, so I didn't take it to heart. Oddly enough, though, I like this poem more than anything else I've written.
Re: a comment on A Failed Proposition Under The Night Sky by Ranger	1-Mar-06/12:30 PM
Yep - you've picked up on the two lines I wasn't sure about myself...the 'he now looks' line is particularly frustrating, but an alternative will present itself (I hope). The astronomer I might keep, it was the foundation for this one and I'm a sentimental fool... I read various of your poems to get a good feeling for rhythm before writing this up!
Re: a comment on You Sang To Me In A Cathedral Chamber by Ranger	1-Mar-06/12:22 PM
Thank you! I'm at the tender age of nineteen right now...as I said to Dovina, poemranker really did suffer during my Pimple-loving time; but I learnt such a lot from here that I left for a couple of years until I had anything worthwhile to offer - ideas are starting to return to me at last! It's all about learning stylistic tricks now - there is so much fantastic poetry on this site that I'm learning every time I log in. Your comment made my day, by the way! Thank you once again!
Re: Simon's Legacy (draft) by Caducus	1-Mar-06/11:22 AM
Emotive, as usual
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	1-Mar-06/11:15 AM
Develop self-peeling oranges.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	1-Mar-06/10:40 AM
Ooh, not a cool plan... Drink, sit, write. Then tomorrow you can do something else.
Re: Pine Boxes (revised) by Joe-joe	1-Mar-06/10:36 AM
Loved the first line. Was 'peak' an intentional typo (i.e. the neighbour 'peaking' over the top of the blinds like a mountaintop etc.)?
Re: a comment on Flower of Life by longships	1-Mar-06/9:58 AM
longships, you have lots of poems posted on here, yet you haven't voted or commented on anyone else's work! What's going on?!?