| Re: In the Land of Bob by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:53 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Pardon my lines by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:51 AM |
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Here's another one for you then.
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| Re: Tuna and sweetcorn by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:48 AM |
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Aha! Very good, sir, very good!
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| Re: To drnick by amanda_dcosta |
15-Feb-06/6:46 AM |
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drnick, you are a privileged soul! Glorious!
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| Re: Teaching Beetles To Swim by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:44 AM |
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| Re: To Bob, Love Ed by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:42 AM |
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Bob, you're so fine. Really.
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| Re: Yet another Morning Glory piss-take by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:38 AM |
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Another Orange reason (parodying another user). But it made me laugh so much...
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| Re: Down on Dogs by Bobjim |
15-Feb-06/6:36 AM |
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BJ, you're desperate to get that Orange Award back, aren't you?
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| Re: a comment on change (3rd draft) by Adriaan |
15-Feb-06/1:52 AM |
I'm not sure why but having 'red leaves' makes it seem more Japanese, more authentic in a way. Trying to create a solid image in 11 syllables is a pretty daunting task and you pull it off really well; not only that but the title is simple and highly appropriate for the form. All round I can't find fault with this at all - it seems like the sort of poem that needs to be laboriously handwritten onto woven tapestry to have full effect...the poemranker font just doesn't quite do it!
Change (5-7-5) by Ranger
White-haired hermit sits
Same rocky seat, but new view
Watch red leaf ballet
I had to write that to compare the two and I was right; expanding your one would have been detrimental to the idea of change within it. To be honest, I think that yours is as good as it's possible to get with this format. Good work!
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| Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet |
14-Feb-06/3:54 PM |
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I belive that the description of a man allegedly involved in the real murder was a very accurate description of Poe himself; I'm sure there were other details too, but that's the one I remember.
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| Re: Valentine 2 by zodiac |
14-Feb-06/3:44 PM |
Love the description of the gunfire into trees.
Forgive my lack of historical knowledge - are the quotes factually accurate, or are they artistic license, zodiac-style?
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| Re: change (3rd draft) by Adriaan |
14-Feb-06/3:41 PM |
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Ah...it's tricky to know what to say about a haiku, particularly a short haiku (or whatever the technical name is for this structure, 3-5-2, sounds like a football formation) but this has so much scope for descriptive imagery. I want to say 'describe the hermit, describe where he's sitting, describe the leaves, describe how they're falling' etc. etc. etc. but I have this nagging feeling that it would actually detract from the purpose of this poem; it retains a clarity in its brevity that is actually quite refreshing. And I'm rambling. If only Kaolin had made a comment compressor to shift through the rubbish in my comments so as to find any kernels of usefulness that might remain.
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| Re: a comment on Journeyman by Glasseyez |
14-Feb-06/3:24 PM |
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Poetry for dummies? You're long past that stage, in my view. You're right not to want to change this poem radically, in fact there's nothing that 'needs' changing, beyond a little editing for the grammatical side - just to make it read a little smoother. However I would really like to see a version of this as extended; expand the imagery that you've already started. It feels like you have ideas and pictures that haven't quite manifested themselves in here yet...let your imagination run riot and see what it creates. I'd suggest keeping this one as is and posting it again extended, which would give you the text to go back to and compare the two.
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| Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet |
14-Feb-06/11:28 AM |
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Cigar girl, not matchstick girl, my bad. I can't find the actual article itself (the book appears to still be in print and under copyright), but the theory is that the story of Marie Roget was based on the actual murder of a girl named Mary Cecilia Rogers, and that the details in the story fit too closely to actual facts from the crime which I believe Poe would not have had access to. Or something like that. I forget, but next time I'm home I'll have a look for the book.
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| Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet |
14-Feb-06/11:01 AM |
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I'll see what I can dredge up, although seeing as I read it in a book I had ages ago I don't know how much info will be on the net.
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| Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT |
14-Feb-06/10:58 AM |
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Yeah, I was curious enough to check the 'ip by user' link...man that ip is a hotspot for multiplicity.
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| Re: a comment on Escape by raven_the_poet |
14-Feb-06/10:49 AM |
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The Raven is and always will be the icon of poetry. But did you know there's strong evidence linking the man to a murder of, I believe, a matchstick-selling girl?
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| Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT |
14-Feb-06/10:47 AM |
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Now that is dedicated detectoring! I wouldn't have even tried finding a name for the suspect; merely referred to him as Orange Award Nominee #1
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| Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT |
14-Feb-06/10:43 AM |
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These username duplicators are getting cleverer by the day...
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| Re: a comment on In response to by INTRANSIT |
14-Feb-06/10:39 AM |
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Look at the name of the chap who left the 'Fuck (X)' comments. Then click it to the profile page. It's not INTRANSIT. Not by a long way.
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