on The Sipping of the Light by DeadtotheWorld
22 Feb 2004, 4:59 AM
What do the dreadful curtains symbolise, and are they dreadful because the match the sofa?
on some deleted poem
22 Feb 2004, 5:02 AM
Shame it could not end with a one legged cow falling from the sky. Nevertheless the wordplay is very good.
Off center/ cantor , in the heart in his heart, stilt shod circus clowns.
Reads very well too.
Off center/ cantor , in the heart in his heart, stilt shod circus clowns.
Reads very well too.
on The Commanding Disobedince of Words by daggatolar
22 Feb 2004, 5:10 AM
instrument of sin? coyly CLS
on some deleted poem
22 Feb 2004, 5:12 AM
'let me grow to satisfy your will/ take this swelling innocence'.
Are you crystal lane swift in disguise?!
Are you crystal lane swift in disguise?!
on Troubled Mind by DarkThirteens
22 Feb 2004, 5:18 AM
This is perfectly alright.
on Thoughts in a cloud above the Catskills by Enkidu
24 Feb 2004, 8:45 AM
OK I quite like triple rhyme, just a few things dont track.
You are crying... why do you jest.
Blackened ivory -- ivory is a cream colour, why would you blacken it, especially for use as braille.
The final verse.
You are crying... why do you jest.
Blackened ivory -- ivory is a cream colour, why would you blacken it, especially for use as braille.
The final verse.
on The Niche by Fear of Garbage
23 Feb 2004, 1:23 PM
I think the comparison between woodwork and nightmare needs to be more elaborate.
If it works it would be ace, but at the moment I am not getting it.
If it works it would be ace, but at the moment I am not getting it.
on Jonquils, daffydils by fevriere
24 Feb 2004, 8:28 AM
What white temple, if you are to use paris, I would suggest make some reference other than it is paris.
Other than that cute, like knocking themselves dizzy
Other than that cute, like knocking themselves dizzy
on Whore Of Nazareth by Mona Lisa
24 Feb 2004, 2:08 PM
Seen a lot of this before, may have been you or a caducus poem.
The first line is pretty ace though.
The first line is pretty ace though.
on Glass Flowers by Bachus
24 Feb 2004, 2:11 PM
Not sure I understand convicted in the first line. Or the question mark.
Reads well enough though.
Reads well enough though.
on Damn Georgia Power by BrandonW
24 Feb 2004, 2:13 PM
can nothing but a brownout stop this flowing?
on some deleted poem
24 Feb 2004, 2:15 PM
Like the anthropomorphism going on here, and the turn of phrase.
'the roosters made ready'
'ocean... took inventory'
'the roosters made ready'
'ocean... took inventory'
on the wind's last crescendo by fair12
24 Feb 2004, 2:19 PM
Has a nice poetic feel, which is not always such a bad thing.
Pleasant, and has a finished feel to it.
Pleasant, and has a finished feel to it.
on A Natural Witch by Lenore
24 Feb 2004, 2:21 PM
Personally I would prefer the witch to be a character.
Then you can bring out these features in a more scholarly and less serially way.
Then you can bring out these features in a more scholarly and less serially way.
on Everyone's choosing sides by zodiac
24 Feb 2004, 2:25 PM
A nice rush-like quality to this. And a good combination of image and narrative.
Not sure about sharp smelling as memory. Do you really mean that memory is sharp smelling?
Also wet leaves do not really burn.
Not sure about sharp smelling as memory. Do you really mean that memory is sharp smelling?
Also wet leaves do not really burn.
on Quest! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
24 Feb 2004, 2:27 PM
If you are not a child then you are an idiot -8-
on Choices in the Road by Pervy Elf
26 Feb 2004, 7:49 AM
To express this sentiment should only take two sentences max.
on Homecoming by somemorepoetry
26 Feb 2004, 7:50 AM
your very best
on Red by AskittlesK
26 Feb 2004, 9:55 AM
In hell you will be made to face yourself. How you have made light of self-mutilation.
hints of my covered self's
inner nudity