never know how to write song lyrics
This is a good stab

perhaps an incendiary line or too to spice it up?

interesting set out,
It can be read as a single line,
Very sweet sentiment

yes very evocative

I like the structure, very inventive

'all men are pigs' after she said that did you introduce yourself (as mr pig) ?

very sweet poem as ever, moving in images

I like rap wordplay but it sometimes seems a bit freestyle and craftless

A haiku however is a good compromise

A couple of nice lines
reads more like a mission statement than a poem though

cool, kind of impressionist

very good

Rap in style and it actually functions as a poem
'chump with your bandana' certainly echoes

Nice the bottom two lines first stanza don't really fit into the structure.
You have used obvious rhyme but resisted using obvious in between the rhymes

lots of imagery
If i have one criticism it is the careless use of words such as demonic.
I need luring in a bit more

simple sentiments, but I read some of your cliches and wonder if you really mean them
dying inside is a bit hyperbolous

yes nice feel and structure
Perhaps not ambitious enough though

always like the vast spectrum of language

Anger and abuse are common this not so

a lot of stuff covered
I quite liked the middle its rhyming sped it up
inspired by subterranian homesick blues?

cute haiku

yes i like the structure,
and rhyming fingers and nimbus is genius
well done

yes I agree this is kind of wild and it works well
But I do think the word crimson in poetry should be banned
Other than that good

Bold as ever, perhaps a little alice in wonderland in its focus on detail and fantasy
Perhaps try making it a bit shorter brevity and wit and all

some nice lines, I couldn't be bothered reading all of it. Some greek poets took all their life writing poems this long.
Try have more confidence that a few lines will show your ability