on The windshield-wiper blues by INTRANSIT
18 May 2003, 7:26 AM
i don't think this is a complete fuck up, I quite like the repetition and humour
on The windshield-wiper blues by INTRANSIT
18 May 2003, 7:26 AM
i don't think this is a complete fuck up, I quite like the repetition and humour
on The windshield-wiper blues by INTRANSIT
18 May 2003, 7:26 AM
i don't think this is a complete fuck up, I quite like the repetition and humour
on Goldfish in his little bowl by daniella
18 May 2003, 7:25 AM
you are one of the writers who is not as well known as top ones such as mr pig and zzinnia but your poems stand out from most of the pack.
As for this its use of language is beautiful and as a poem is complete
As for this its use of language is beautiful and as a poem is complete
on Darkness ( A tribute to the poem FOOTPRINTS) by Mr Pig
17 May 2003, 1:19 PM
some nice turns of phrase 'solace of my echoes'
and half rhymes like abyss and peace
But I think it is quite prose like in parts and perhaps needs tightening a bit
and half rhymes like abyss and peace
But I think it is quite prose like in parts and perhaps needs tightening a bit
on Typical Day by thepinkbunnyofdoom
16 May 2003, 10:22 AM
my favourite of yours so far, a lot to interest
on John Denver's hang-glider by horus8
16 May 2003, 10:21 AM
Such a diverse use of language,
Most poems on here are so prosaic
this is more psychadaelic and exciting
Most poems on here are so prosaic
this is more psychadaelic and exciting
on I hope not by colndodg
16 May 2003, 10:14 AM
Yes, interesting question
funny cute
but the last four lines a little too cute
funny cute
but the last four lines a little too cute
on Be Not Afraid Of Dying. by Mr Pig
12 May 2003, 10:21 AM
yes I like the tone of the haiku, seems to work with the sentiment.
Also its reasoning is very succinct
Also its reasoning is very succinct
on long time no write by New Life Drug
10 May 2003, 10:08 AM
possibly needs to be shorter
I feel like i've been commandeered to listen to someone tell me their broken heart story when i want to watch the football
A few cute little references though, i'm sure if i read again i'll find a few more
I feel like i've been commandeered to listen to someone tell me their broken heart story when i want to watch the football
A few cute little references though, i'm sure if i read again i'll find a few more
on I must be out of my mind by thepinkbunnyofdoom
10 May 2003, 10:05 AM
this is ok
gently amusing without recourse to the usual 'funny' issues written about on here
gently amusing without recourse to the usual 'funny' issues written about on here
on This makes no sense by thepinkbunnyofdoom
9 May 2003, 10:55 AM
Like the second verse, quite clever.
and perceptive too
and perceptive too
replying on Totem Pole by horus8
9 May 2003, 10:52 AM
I quite like bob dylan too
on Totem Pole by horus8
9 May 2003, 10:51 AM
Yes bob dylas an influence to me, like the stuff about reasons to live/ earthquake shelters/ pipelines
on all is yet to come (version 2) by brazen
9 May 2003, 10:43 AM
I think three is a bit harsh, this has some good parts, I like the little entries of folklore
on Insomniac by GekoHawaii
6 May 2003, 11:22 AM
This is a bit creepy, almost like a depressing nursery rhyme
on You wash up, I forget. by Bachus
6 May 2003, 11:20 AM
Confessional as always (if not of you of a character you created) but sharp enough to withstand it
on all is yet to come (version 2) by brazen
6 May 2003, 11:15 AM
Quite angry, full of feeling
One criticism : little to anchor the poem to something concrete (pretty rich coming from me!)
One criticism : little to anchor the poem to something concrete (pretty rich coming from me!)
on Lifestyles of the ripe and glamourless by horus8
6 May 2003, 11:12 AM
Pretty mental, I like the ending very beatish
The use of tits, niggers, aids is perhaps a bit evocative by numbers though
The use of tits, niggers, aids is perhaps a bit evocative by numbers though
on Hunting God by Shardik
4 May 2003, 6:48 AM
I am always impressed by vilanelles, like the bit about cant shoot dope and a busy social bee