on Sagadahoc to Hudson by http://mulberryfairy
11 Aug 2003, 10:42 PM
I find this to be a little messy for you. But the storytelling shows promise. Judging by your comments here you know just what needs working.
on Self Portrait by http://bandgeek
7 Sep 2003, 11:34 PM
It's vivid, I'll give you that.
on the blessed by forevergreen
5 Sep 2003, 1:18 AM
You could not be more wrong.
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2003, 12:27 AM
Okay, very funny.
Really, what makes this better than Flail & Fuck?
Really, what makes this better than Flail & Fuck?
on some deleted poem
7 Sep 2003, 11:51 PM
It's fucking painful to witness such naked expression but, worse yet, I'm sure, to be a hundred dollar vocabulary trapped in a 14 year old body. I gotta give you a ten for sheer risk but, first tell me; Was it love at first read?
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2003, 12:33 AM
I get a zero from a logged on viewer and not even an insulting comment? That is truly insulting!
Come on folks, with your help this could make it onto the top20 Worst Poems list! ...or you could tell me just where I've gone wrong so I can learn to not suck.
Come on folks, with your help this could make it onto the top20 Worst Poems list! ...or you could tell me just where I've gone wrong so I can learn to not suck.
on Bad-Ass Motherfucker by William Delacroix
8 Sep 2003, 7:16 AM
I think only the last line is legitimate "pimple". "...through tainted eyes" is too aware to be pimple but, that line makes for a better poem overall.
on 30,000 feet by Patsy
5 Sep 2003, 1:36 AM
I dig this, having just got off a plane a few days ago. Like "Recycle", I figure I'm probably missing something but, I'll give it another read soon.
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2003, 5:43 AM
What?? Who put that 5 there? I'll never make the Worst List with that kind of interference. A mediocre vote is even more insulting than a zero.
on How I fuck Freud off in the shower by horus8
8 Sep 2003, 6:13 AM
It's too bad this is on the Worst List but, if it wasn't I probably never would have had the pleasure to stumble across it.
on pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix
8 Sep 2003, 6:25 AM
I read an article recently about the use of Bach as accompaniment to violent imagery in films. Did you see that too?
I like the burning sculpure idea and would like more details of that. Might I suggest a guilotine for the hands.
I have to reserve my vote until you tell me what that last line means (and what language it is). I only speak English and only just barely.
I like the burning sculpure idea and would like more details of that. Might I suggest a guilotine for the hands.
I have to reserve my vote until you tell me what that last line means (and what language it is). I only speak English and only just barely.
on some deleted poem
8 Sep 2003, 6:35 AM
Now I see why my precious "Flail & Fuck" will never make the Worst List, it lacks that offensive brand of pretension that pretends not to be pretentious.
on (untitled) by http://bandgeek
8 Sep 2003, 6:46 AM
This is decent. It could use a little tightening. Even though I want to read a more expressive description, this stark treatment is likely most appropriate.
on pErFeCt pAiN by William Delacroix
8 Sep 2003, 6:56 AM
Ah. An unfermented wine with a sweet finish. Now that's a twist.
See "Bach and Hollywood's bad guys" by Scott Timberg Los Angeles Times (reprinted in the Vancouver Sun Tuesday, August 26, 2003. I knew I had that article hangin' around. I hope it serves you.
See "Bach and Hollywood's bad guys" by Scott Timberg Los Angeles Times (reprinted in the Vancouver Sun Tuesday, August 26, 2003. I knew I had that article hangin' around. I hope it serves you.
on (getting used to spending too much time with myself) by Patsy
11 Aug 2003, 10:24 PM
Maybe it's finally enough...
That first line kicks anus!
That first line kicks anus!
on twilight by geewhiz1962
11 Aug 2003, 10:33 PM
I appreciate the concept more than the execution. Up until "How did I live it," works well enough for an introduction. The body of it seems to lack spice.
Although I do like "discovering my powers."
Although I do like "discovering my powers."
on Concieted Checkmate. by LuckyJoe
11 Aug 2003, 10:36 PM
I think this would be WAY stronger if you didn't spoon-feed us the metaphor. Don't underestimate the reader unless you're writing for pre-teens.
on American Hiker by Garrett S Sexton
11 Aug 2003, 10:50 PM
"ready" or willing?
I don't usually take to such popular images. But, when they're done this well I see just why they are popular in the first place.
I don't usually take to such popular images. But, when they're done this well I see just why they are popular in the first place.
First haiku I've liked in a while!