on poetry by nrevatehtni
5 Jun 2002, 8:56 AM
hey, "Daaaaaaark Aaaaaangel", you are such a complete idiot. I love the advice you gave MarkWells - you know, to actually read some poetry before writing some poetry. Well, this poem you've insulted is actually a quite famous poem by Neruda (although, I don't suppose you've ever heard of him). Anyhow, this was once a useful site, Kaolin, but not since it's been populated by people who get off on insulting decent work for kicks. Clearly, industrious people like you, dark angel, should get off your ass and do some work for a living. You must lead a very sad, lonely life. I bet your parents never loved you. Why don't you slit your wrists and get it over with. Your poems and comments are an obvious plea for help. I hope you rot.
on Pleasurable Agony by crims0ngh0st
22 Apr 2002, 11:30 AM
try reading miller.
on All teeth when not. by ifni
22 Apr 2002, 11:27 AM
sucker
on voluntary, premature expulsion of fetal tissue by skaskowski
22 Apr 2002, 11:27 AM
dismal
on she did not by mitchski
22 Apr 2002, 11:25 AM
this has promise.
on Sloth and Expectation by ifni
22 Apr 2002, 11:24 AM
bravo
on nation by roses are read
10 Apr 2002, 8:35 AM
what are you talking about?
on conundrum, part 1 by poetekzen
8 Apr 2002, 8:25 AM
jazzy.... nice word plays
on Sperm Donor Clown by ObiWonKn
8 Apr 2002, 8:18 AM
interesting images of distortion and unease... try to keep going with this. I think if you're going to use the clown metaphor, you might try finding a metaphor for "sperm donor", too.
on Laughter by crims0ngh0st
8 Apr 2002, 8:14 AM
there must be a better way to say "you fondle my mind from the inside" and "oozes from my every pore" is not only slightly gross, but also v. cliche. You discovered an interesting comparison to what laughter means to you, now just lose the trite language - or all you originality goes bust.
on wrenched away from what? by skaskowski
8 Apr 2002, 8:10 AM
i think the difficultiy with most of your poems is the lack of concrete details. Feelings and feelings of disassociation are hard to nail down - but if you find a way to do it, it lends a certain muscularity to your work.
on These things that we bury by Jody Conn
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
really good effort & classic theme of redemption. you can strengthen it by losing the idiomatic language "in their prime" - it'll be tighter, more profound.
on Truth of the Moon by ObiWonKn
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
the last comparison is weak. "a ribbon....guarding" not a heavyweight sentry. This doesn't hang together very well - perhaps the first stanza should be the last?
on Ghost in My Swimming Pool by ObiWonKn
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
where does seeing this apparition take you? Is it you - an aspect of yourself you had forgotten or lost? Great effort - but there is a connection missing.
on Fascination by ObiWonKn
16 Mar 2002, 1:21 AM
manages to net Life's elusive quality. First stanza is my favorite in its precision