on some deleted poem
29 Aug 2003, 10:59 AM
very weak ending. the opening is so strong. you must follow through. or else.
on By Now by Lie2MePinnochio
27 Aug 2003, 8:32 AM
sweet. in a bitter sort of way.
on some deleted poem
26 Aug 2003, 7:20 PM
man o manna.
on It's about truckin' by INTRANSIT
26 Aug 2003, 7:23 PM
good stuff here, but the arbitrary uneveness is really disruptive.
change the pace when you want us to slam on the brakes. and then only. no vote/
change the pace when you want us to slam on the brakes. and then only. no vote/
on Ashes to Ashes by Irischer Junge
1 Sep 2003, 7:43 PM
what if i'm jewish?
am i invalid?
am i invalid?
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2003, 8:12 PM
barrister, not lawyer,
a gentleman would not end a sentence with a preposition (for)
an horrible, an other
bloody is misused--gory would be more connotively correct
the Land; no need to name England; a gentleman would know the kingdom to which one referred.
who-knows-who is the vernacular of the guttersnipe
the last stanza is quite laughable.
if you are going to endeavor to demean a body from within their own milleau, you should at least attain some familiarity with usage before proferring such an attempt.
a gentleman would not end a sentence with a preposition (for)
an horrible, an other
bloody is misused--gory would be more connotively correct
the Land; no need to name England; a gentleman would know the kingdom to which one referred.
who-knows-who is the vernacular of the guttersnipe
the last stanza is quite laughable.
if you are going to endeavor to demean a body from within their own milleau, you should at least attain some familiarity with usage before proferring such an attempt.
on Part I: The Peach by http://mulberryfairy
1 Sep 2003, 8:15 PM
i do not believe tat it was the nourishment you would not let drip away, but rather, the sweetness.
yes?
yes?
on some deleted poem
1 Sep 2003, 8:17 PM
hanging/hung?
why were you satisfied, and yet, the squirrel could get more from it?
this makes a metaphor and then sends it packing, to the unemployment office.
why?
why were you satisfied, and yet, the squirrel could get more from it?
this makes a metaphor and then sends it packing, to the unemployment office.
why?
on Peach (Revision) by http://mulberryfairy
1 Sep 2003, 8:17 PM
even though it was a nectarine?
on Nightshades by Bachus
27 Aug 2003, 1:43 PM
you were not circadian to begin with????
on some deleted poem
26 Aug 2003, 7:26 PM
oh lord, i'm stuck here in lodi again.
now go get me a fifth of polish and cut the crap.
you know this is not eve a valid attempt at satire. open your ears to language! open your eyes to attitude.
and go make me a sammich.
now go get me a fifth of polish and cut the crap.
you know this is not eve a valid attempt at satire. open your ears to language! open your eyes to attitude.
and go make me a sammich.
on Robe Lowe, Me and Icecream by RO-B-LOWE ME PLEASE
26 Aug 2003, 7:27 PM
he's short. i bet he has SMS.
on Pressing Matters in the White House by cleverdevice
26 Aug 2003, 6:51 PM
bouncygoodness. i 8 it up.
on The Better of the Sea by abecedarian
26 Aug 2003, 6:56 PM
this just keeps getting better. nice job.
on some deleted poem
28 Aug 2003, 10:58 AM
"zero, my hero, how wonderful you are!!" --schoolhouse rock
on Invisible Poo by kthay
28 Aug 2003, 5:46 PM
here's a visual extravaganza for you, sirrah:
www.ratemypoo.com
enjoy!
www.ratemypoo.com
enjoy!
on Easter Egg Soup by kthay
28 Aug 2003, 5:48 PM
you are a very silly poet. i like this innocent rhymimg of yours.
on some deleted poem
28 Aug 2003, 5:45 PM
you don't need "two" in the second line.
this is nice. cohesive. well-thought-out.
this is nice. cohesive. well-thought-out.
on some deleted poem
26 Aug 2003, 7:20 PM
hair.