on some deleted poem
8 Apr 2003, 8:21 AM
ew. sheep dip pie. ew.
on and i don't even care by nolan
8 Apr 2003, 8:03 AM
and never write another cliche?
sorry, that was harsh. i do like this piece, but it stands on the other side of over-used metaphor right now. you need to channel this, and make it more personal. reinvent the wheel. make the black bird green.
sorry, that was harsh. i do like this piece, but it stands on the other side of over-used metaphor right now. you need to channel this, and make it more personal. reinvent the wheel. make the black bird green.
on some deleted poem
8 Apr 2003, 8:21 AM
naughty boy. you've dreamt of it for months now. i hope it wasn't too warm.
on some deleted poem
6 Apr 2003, 9:35 PM
what do recommend for a nicew ruby red grapefruit?
on some deleted poem
6 Apr 2003, 9:40 PM
he'll blow it quickly. and you'll still have holes in your boots. but then you can tell your grandkids about how you walked 8 miles uphill in a blizzard, with holes in your boots,...provided the rich kid doesn't steal your girlfriend, eh?
sometimes, it just sucks hard.
sometimes, it just sucks hard.
on Voodoo on channel 13 by Bachus
6 Apr 2003, 9:13 PM
take . . . the pin . . . OUT!!!!
on Black Magic by <{Baba^Yaga}>
6 Apr 2003, 9:15 PM
i get it. dissonance. :}
but the rhyme feels forced, so that one line can't be the whole point of the poem, right? i mean, it's a poem, not an illustration. or have you been a naughty boy with settle? did he rub off on you?
but the rhyme feels forced, so that one line can't be the whole point of the poem, right? i mean, it's a poem, not an illustration. or have you been a naughty boy with settle? did he rub off on you?
on the photobooth by Bill Z Bub
6 Apr 2003, 9:20 PM
but, london to toronto by train???
not perfect, if wasting.
otherwise, damn this is good.
here i'll vote. and i'll do it again, once you assuage me.
not perfect, if wasting.
otherwise, damn this is good.
here i'll vote. and i'll do it again, once you assuage me.
on Blood And Iron by intheailse
3 Apr 2003, 8:16 AM
ita--this has a lot of potential. your last stanza is awkward; you've forced it to fit. check your punctuation, as well. nice job.
on "Life can sure be a motherfucker." by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Apr 2003, 8:46 PM
appropriate, dead center, and beautiful.
i inaugurate the Voracious Ouroboros Awarde, granting it to you, for you willingness to augur with your own intestines. (even the fucking title eats itself)
i inaugurate the Voracious Ouroboros Awarde, granting it to you, for you willingness to augur with your own intestines. (even the fucking title eats itself)
on Prayer for Peace by razorgrin
4 Apr 2003, 1:56 PM
on some deleted poem
4 Apr 2003, 2:25 PM
well. fuuny, and yet not so. sure. go ahead. but talk to h about crotching some yogurt.
on All hail Discordia?(a true haiku story) by razorgrin
4 Apr 2003, 1:55 PM
athena! athena! let down thy buns!
hahahah! nice.
hahahah! nice.
on Last Nightâs Dream (Freud-o-riffic) by razorgrin
4 Apr 2003, 2:09 PM
fuckity fuck!
on Adios Poemranker. by scitz
3 Apr 2003, 10:49 AM
don't go!!! come back!!!
on The Strength Of Thomas by OneFingerAnswer
3 Apr 2003, 2:19 PM
eyes see, but that does not make it real. eyes can be fooled, and easily too. still, i like this.
on some deleted poem
4 Apr 2003, 1:48 PM
you should have bought the sony
on some deleted poem
3 Apr 2003, 2:27 PM
madness. splain.
on some deleted poem
4 Apr 2003, 1:54 PM
this is almost there. the last 5 lines are still a bit awkward, but this is crisper and cleaner, and more touchable than ever before.
on I shot speed by horus8
3 Apr 2003, 2:14 PM
fine. how's ham on rye? and you can get your own goddamn coffee.