on some deleted poem
4 Oct 2002, 9:44 PM
well-hung.
on The Cross Foxes by Gwyrfab
4 Oct 2002, 9:13 PM
well done!
on Sympathy for a Pig by phbiscuit
5 Oct 2002, 10:50 PM
i couldn't.
on whilst the bells ring by richa
4 Oct 2002, 8:49 PM
this is the best i have read of yours. i liked it very much. great, sharp rhythm, macbre imagery, mood, tone...
bravo.
bravo.
on America by little_angel_maria
7 Oct 2002, 7:37 AM
you should talk to doug soderstrom. he'd tell you why.
on some deleted poem
7 Oct 2002, 8:18 AM
i'm having a time making it feel like poetry in my mind, but i find the idea most entertaining.
on From a letter (never sent) by UnityMitford
7 Oct 2002, 6:55 AM
i love it when you get rough, unity.
on The day I told her by dalva
7 Oct 2002, 8:20 AM
at least you had the balls to tell her.
on A Gift of Beauty... by loneshadow29
5 Oct 2002, 4:46 PM
hey loneshadow--this has promise. i suggest making the language more languid. it reads stacato, and if you are longing for her, i'd think the words would be more sultry, more mellifluous, more dreamy. good effort, though. z
on some deleted poem
5 Oct 2002, 6:56 PM
don't u meen 'wubb'?
on Bowing at the alter ego by flatliner
5 Oct 2002, 11:16 PM
don't do it johnnie. i may be a zzinnia, but who amongst you can vouchsafe my beauty, or lack thereof? and therefore, how can you compare her to me, or mrs.g, or razor? well, i guess you can since all's fair in love and poetry... except for you, h, you tease. the mp3's don't work, yeh wee bastard!
on Possibilities by Nicholas Jones
4 Oct 2002, 7:13 AM
in your bow? or in your quiver? otherwise very nice. but that bit threw me.
on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof
4 Oct 2002, 8:16 PM
methinks the flaw makes the man. well done, christof! ah, the things one misses when one goes away for a spell
on some deleted poem
4 Oct 2002, 8:20 PM
i sure as hell wouldn't try and stop you. but wouldn't you rather picnic on the grss with p&k?
on Life of a Cubicle Dweller by loneshadow29
4 Oct 2002, 8:43 PM
okay, i agree with mrs.g in that you are off to a good start, but i think you should incorporate her suggestions and pare it down rather than flesh it out. you tend to use a lot of words, loneshadow, and you don't need to.
"Wishing I could be among the geese" says it all. there are at least 3 other lines tacked on around this one which are completely unnecessary--this one says it all. learn to cut away. this is a beautiful line. cut this poem down by half, made up of lines like this, and you will have a gem.
"Wishing I could be among the geese" says it all. there are at least 3 other lines tacked on around this one which are completely unnecessary--this one says it all. learn to cut away. this is a beautiful line. cut this poem down by half, made up of lines like this, and you will have a gem.
on some deleted poem
4 Oct 2002, 8:32 PM
this one rips my heart out mrs.g. i am glad, from reading the comments, that thr rubble has become walls. i hope they're painted in joyful colors now, even if they do need washing now and again, as shelters often do.
on Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus
2 Oct 2002, 3:07 PM
you, sirrah, are neither a gentleman nor a scholar, and that's exactly why i want you.
on Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus
2 Oct 2002, 11:55 PM
fucking perfect, between love and hate; between holidays; betwwen adolescenece and despair. fucking perfect.
on Haiku for Mum by waltfreakinwhitman
4 Oct 2002, 8:50 PM
you dawg. you always crck me right the fuck up. nice job.