on Can't See by ThoughtfulSoul
30 Sep 2002, 12:15 PM
try banging your head against a wall. then you can see colors, too, and not just black.
on always the end to this good night by nentwined
30 Sep 2002, 3:39 PM
weaves and bobs aprropriately.
on Howl For Clarity (for Jeff Buckley) by Bachus
30 Sep 2002, 3:41 PM
just get a little bottle, and you'll be okay
on Howl For Clarity (for Jeff Buckley) by Bachus
30 Sep 2002, 3:54 PM
what, you don't call, you don't write--how was the show? all right?
on Bobbing for Apples by Rex Karrs
30 Sep 2002, 9:33 AM
more's the pity--he'll be having his eye on another prize, won't he?
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 9:36 AM
puctuate more judiciously,please.
possibility is what keeps the artist at bay. and fear of the sheer enormity of it, sometimes. other times, the back is painted as well as the front, sirrah.
possibility is what keeps the artist at bay. and fear of the sheer enormity of it, sometimes. other times, the back is painted as well as the front, sirrah.
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 11:40 PM
minus one for the m-word, my own personal quirk
amalea, please understand that i do not mean this to be mean, but you should not use words that you don't understand. you have a LOT to say. you are very fiery in your rebuttals, and part of the reason you are teased/drawn out/whatever is that you do fight back. why not write in your own words? there is much beauty to be had in everyday things, and you are young and have a fresh and optimistics eyes. write about the boys who vie for you. they entertain and flatter you. but please, don't try to write to impress. write to communicate. you are good at it, but in adopting these style which do not fit you, you do yourself a disservice. peace. z
on Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs
27 Sep 2002, 8:53 PM
by the way, this is quite beautiful.
on Hunter's Moon by Rex Karrs
27 Sep 2002, 7:17 PM
bravo rex. so nice to see you here. glad you could make it. welcome to my world. nice entrance. etc.
on esopus creek by unknown
27 Sep 2002, 7:31 PM
damn wriggling winker got away again, didn't he? the wee bastard!
on Witch to Wicca by Lenore
27 Sep 2002, 7:55 PM
lenore, i like this, but i feel like you have mixed strong metaophor in with some much weaker passages. i would like to see it hones and stronger, more like an incantation: direct and powerful, as it could well be.
on beauty of senses by apples_tim
27 Sep 2002, 7:58 PM
i'm wondering why one would write yet another sunset poem, without a very specific something to say? i almost feel like you are asking us to live this moment for you. you lived it--you tell us what irt was like, okay?
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 8:01 PM
i think you're killing us with the 'm' word. it throws the poem off for me. wouldn't 'bleeding' work as well? did you use 'menstruating' for technical correctness, or for shock? i have always found it to be an ugly, uncomfortable word, and i am very comfortable with all aspects of woman-ness. just my .02
on Cover song by bondjedi
27 Sep 2002, 7:46 AM
you just can't stop yourself, can you?
on some deleted poem
30 Sep 2002, 1:08 PM
wow, this is even worse than abigail's stuff.
on the room's a'spinnin' by nentwined
30 Sep 2002, 12:12 PM
i want more impact on line 3, pretty please.
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2002, 3:06 PM
i cannot comment on this now. but, i will.
on some deleted poem
27 Sep 2002, 11:26 PM
it dropped the 's' at the end again, mrs.g. throw a couple of line endings on, for good measure,that might stop it.