on Your Great by scitz
31 Jul 2003, 8:56 AM
p.s.--great misspelling in the title!
on Your Great by scitz
31 Jul 2003, 8:54 AM
hahahahah!!! oh, yeah. you nailed it, scitz. bravo.
replying on Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 8:47 AM
well, then. come up and see me sometime, sailor. i likes 'em young. rar.
replying on Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 8:36 AM
i don't care if you don't have an 8th grade education. do you think that letters after your name is what makes you a writer? no, i didn't think you did. i'm riding your ass because you can be better. <cracks whip>
and there is no such thing as a perfect beautiful masterpiece. every piece of writing, ever, was omly finished when the writer died. so keep working. and fuck being perfect. it's a lie.
that is all.
and there is no such thing as a perfect beautiful masterpiece. every piece of writing, ever, was omly finished when the writer died. so keep working. and fuck being perfect. it's a lie.
that is all.
replying on Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 8:14 AM
you pissed me off because you were writing some quality stuff, and you've been hacking your way through the last half-dozen ones you've posted. i thought you were rasing the bar, but it feels like you just got lazy. and nothing pisses me off more than somebody who can do something well that doesn't bother to. what a fucking waste.
on Pencil Dust [revised] by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 7:40 AM
did he open his robe for you???
DID HE SHOW YOU HIS PRIVATE PARTS!!!!!????
DID HE SHOW YOU HIS PRIVATE PARTS!!!!!????
on Deranged Sailor: Sea Sickness [revised] by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 7:38 AM
okay, i'll complement you on the last strophe--the idea of it anyway--but why not show me instead of telling me?
you know how, when you're at a family picnic, and your aunt corners you tell tell you one of her stories that goes on and on and on? well? USE SOME FRESH LANGUAGE, DAMN YOU! or you will be that aunt. even if you do have a penis.
see: http://www.uni.edu/~gotera/CraftOfPoetry
you know how, when you're at a family picnic, and your aunt corners you tell tell you one of her stories that goes on and on and on? well? USE SOME FRESH LANGUAGE, DAMN YOU! or you will be that aunt. even if you do have a penis.
see: http://www.uni.edu/~gotera/CraftOfPoetry
on The Call Of Cannons by SupremeDreamer
31 Jul 2003, 7:34 AM
wow. so many metaphors, so little unity.
on in a singular way by daniella
30 Jul 2003, 8:44 PM
but, the familiar phrases in the middlw of the poem--they spoil it for me. fresh language from you, daniella! these stick:
from [perhaps] whence we came.
To pitch, roll and yaw.
they close the books on this
questions won't go away
blown off course
this one, you twist, to make your own:
I'm afraid practice is making perfect pretences.
but the others, no, they are too familiar and deaden it for me. sorry.
from [perhaps] whence we came.
To pitch, roll and yaw.
they close the books on this
questions won't go away
blown off course
this one, you twist, to make your own:
I'm afraid practice is making perfect pretences.
but the others, no, they are too familiar and deaden it for me. sorry.
on plagiarism txt by daniella
30 Jul 2003, 8:02 PM
oh, dear. quickly! a glass of amarone for daniella!
replying on i will not come to bangladesh by lost in america
30 Jul 2003, 7:57 PM
so you say.
replying on To You, In Warmer Climes by <~>
30 Jul 2003, 1:49 PM
thanks, my dark secret.
jump in on this one, h:
http://www.absinthe-literary-review.com/
jump in on this one, h:
http://www.absinthe-literary-review.com/
on HANDRINOS IS A HUMOURLESS PRIG by walrus8
30 Jul 2003, 11:08 AM
a might touchy today, eh 195.157.153.253?
on The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus
30 Jul 2003, 7:55 AM
cad, this cuts.
replying on Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>
30 Jul 2003, 7:17 AM
one of my friends, the mother of the chocolate kid, found the body. i tried to write it from her POV.
on Too obvious by INTRANSIT
30 Jul 2003, 6:14 AM
"comes usually with.
After some treatments
you'll look like a sith."
oh, that sure is pimply, all right. but it sounds more like chronic acne!
After some treatments
you'll look like a sith."
oh, that sure is pimply, all right. but it sounds more like chronic acne!
replying on Sonnet for a Suicide by <~>
30 Jul 2003, 6:11 AM
i used: abcabc defdef gg. i'll call it a zzinnian sonnet. i always seem to write them in that pattern, and, not it's not english or italian.
on Seeing Clearly in the Dark by Jimbo
29 Jul 2003, 9:14 PM
but, why this awkwardness? fear, of trusting? here, this is what i mean:
"Then we sang of songs
Which we would rather have not"
"Then we sang of songs
Which we would rather have not"
on I sat for an hour to watch a spider by Jimbo
29 Jul 2003, 9:11 PM
i watched her, too. a few days ago. she was deft, and certain, and jerky in her haste. i could have broken her. but, as above, so below, yes?
be well, thom. i go by <~> now.
xo,
sue.
be well, thom. i go by <~> now.
xo,
sue.