| Re: Charlie by INTRANSIT |
26-Nov-02/7:22 PM |
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since you have given him a name, i'd like to see anthropomorphism in the poem. i.e., call him 'him,' not it. swing it just a little more, too.
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| Re: Check Yourself by INTRANSIT |
26-Nov-02/7:15 PM |
woo hoo! look who's back in the house!!!
go, boy!
okay, now the poem: the punctuation in the second stanza confuses me. do you need the comma after shoulder?
like the thought.
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| Re: a comment on two poles are better than one by <~> |
26-Nov-02/1:18 PM |
but, it's not about poland. it's about being bipolar.
(no, it's not about being bi in poland either.)
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| Re: a comment on two poles are better than one by <~> |
26-Nov-02/1:01 PM |
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just like poland. hmmm. i wonder if my czechoslovakian hertiage influenced me subliminally...
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| Re: a comment on November's Pot Marigolds, Still Blooming by <~> |
26-Nov-02/12:52 PM |
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i said, "hail calendula" not "heil kalendula". sheisskopf.
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| Re: a comment on two poles are better than one by <~> |
26-Nov-02/12:49 PM |
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clarify please--is the first part not angry? what tone do you see, and where does it weaken?
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| Re: a comment on Loosed by <~> |
26-Nov-02/12:17 PM |
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| Re: The Abyss of myself by ciantu |
24-Nov-02/4:01 PM |
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funny how 3 of 4 of your poems have anonymous 10 votes...secret admirer, perchance? or not?
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| Re: Lloyd Street Interlude by jdsnyd |
24-Nov-02/3:59 PM |
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do you cast a reflection?
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| Re: Wave to the starving children Miss Denmark. by horus8 |
24-Nov-02/3:51 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Bacchus and the Ivy by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
24-Nov-02/3:25 PM |
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wrong vine, sirrah. but then, when even the walls have ears, who's to say the ivy doesn't?
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| Re: a comment on Not God's Wife, Just a Girl by w~* ATHENA *~w |
22-Nov-02/8:10 AM |
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she got me. no wonder it sounded so familiar. geez.
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| Re: Not God's Wife, Just a Girl by w~* ATHENA *~w |
22-Nov-02/7:22 AM |
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like the way you start off innocent, and then throw in the etherised patient. insidious.
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| Re: a comment on Diminishing by <~> |
22-Nov-02/6:47 AM |
mostly because that's not what it's about.
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| Re: a comment on Night-mare by INTRANSIT |
20-Nov-02/8:49 PM |
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no. i miss things. somebody else might get it 110%
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| Re: Going to River Phoenix in my mind by horus8 |
20-Nov-02/8:45 PM |
three nice things i have to say about this rewrite:
cleaner. faster. stronger.
have a blow job. on me.
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| Re: a comment on Night-mare by INTRANSIT |
20-Nov-02/8:38 PM |
___________________________________________________________________________________this far.
i get: washed-up ex-beauty stooping to Target, and used to think VS was top-o-the-line. sad.
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| Re: a comment on Night-mare by INTRANSIT |
20-Nov-02/8:34 PM |
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points for trying. show your wife. ask her. tehn write another. homework assignment #1.
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| Re: Papa Smurf by Bachus |
20-Nov-02/8:28 PM |
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because he can't get his hand away. it's glued firmly in place. that's why.
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| Re: a comment on Night-mare by INTRANSIT |
20-Nov-02/8:24 PM |
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duo was better by far. because there was a thirst driving it, and passion in it.
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