replying on Loosed by <~>
18 Oct 2002, 4:14 PM
ah, brazen, there is nothing beautiful about it. don't lose yourself in a woman, find something there. and share. and never, ever fuck someone you love's sister. or even think about it. (assuming you are a male, or so oriented.)
the question was added in the second writing. yes, it is a work in progress, and will no doubt undergo radical revision. i will take the question out, though. after my long drive home, i read it aloud and i do not like it, so, dahling p&k, out it goes.
i am going to hear the blues tonight, and when i return, no doubt i will have more and more insight. cafe 9. i have told you of it before. it is a crossroads.
i am going to hear the blues tonight, and when i return, no doubt i will have more and more insight. cafe 9. i have told you of it before. it is a crossroads.
on purple and black gangstaz theme tune by rosiebailey
18 Oct 2002, 7:35 AM
eh.
on casting couch by darby pyn
18 Oct 2002, 7:05 AM
i like all the images and the way you address the situation. but if it's a fast punk song, giving it a hammering meter. then it would strike down opposition.
on Stamp by worldsofwar
18 Oct 2002, 6:56 AM
why? why why why?
this sucks.
this sucks.
on the girl what gave scott the look by UAFANTHORPEY
18 Oct 2002, 6:55 AM
she's givin more than the look. i love this. except for the 69 reference. that's not handles as well as the rest of it. show me you know how to handle it, ua
on Ode to Larkbeat Twoshoes by Nicholas Jones
18 Oct 2002, 6:47 AM
the first 7 lines are clumsier than the balance. it is a sparkling instant, and desrves to be captured so. please consider re-working. i would love to see this shine.
replying on The Devil Made Her Do It by Limness
17 Oct 2002, 11:12 AM
ironically, the limness poem right before this was regarding that. psychic indeed. what do you see in my future, o beaked one?
replying on Bleeding V2 by INTRANSIT
17 Oct 2002, 7:27 AM
actually, that's how i read it as well.
on On the Swings by Christof
17 Oct 2002, 7:15 AM
this sounds like great fun!
who would you like to give a little shove to, christof?
who would you like to give a little shove to, christof?
on Reptiles & Dust - Part One by Wulf
16 Oct 2002, 9:07 AM
why 162 stanzas?
not that the words are not beautiful, but there is hardly enough here to be cause for an epic length. it seems more well suited to be its own volume than to be presented thus, electronically and straining to the eyes. i must admit that the stanzas being numbered, and the length of it daunts me, especially without a rhythmic meter to pull me through it.
not that the words are not beautiful, but there is hardly enough here to be cause for an epic length. it seems more well suited to be its own volume than to be presented thus, electronically and straining to the eyes. i must admit that the stanzas being numbered, and the length of it daunts me, especially without a rhythmic meter to pull me through it.
on Jerk ?? Circle by horus8
16 Oct 2002, 8:50 AM
"Murderers still love
In their blunted
Lurching strokes"
my favorite.
try and explain it away.
i'll love a murderer as well as the next man.
In their blunted
Lurching strokes"
my favorite.
try and explain it away.
i'll love a murderer as well as the next man.
on Homemade Greetings by jessicazee
16 Oct 2002, 8:07 AM
swell. biting.
replying on more{Porn*Star}{Hai*kus} by horus8
15 Oct 2002, 12:24 PM
ugh. i hate that word! i'll get you some merlot instead.