on America by little_angel_maria
7 Oct 2002, 7:37 AM
you should talk to doug soderstrom. he'd tell you why.
on From a letter (never sent) by UnityMitford
7 Oct 2002, 6:55 AM
i love it when you get rough, unity.
on Bowing at the alter ego by flatliner
5 Oct 2002, 11:16 PM
don't do it johnnie. i may be a zzinnia, but who amongst you can vouchsafe my beauty, or lack thereof? and therefore, how can you compare her to me, or mrs.g, or razor? well, i guess you can since all's fair in love and poetry... except for you, h, you tease. the mp3's don't work, yeh wee bastard!
on Sympathy for a Pig by phbiscuit
5 Oct 2002, 10:50 PM
i couldn't.
on A Gift of Beauty... by loneshadow29
5 Oct 2002, 4:46 PM
hey loneshadow--this has promise. i suggest making the language more languid. it reads stacato, and if you are longing for her, i'd think the words would be more sultry, more mellifluous, more dreamy. good effort, though. z
replying on Fueled hearts by INTRANSIT
4 Oct 2002, 9:18 PM
that's not p&k.
on The Cross Foxes by Gwyrfab
4 Oct 2002, 9:13 PM
well done!
on Haiku for Mum by waltfreakinwhitman
4 Oct 2002, 8:50 PM
you dawg. you always crck me right the fuck up. nice job.
on whilst the bells ring by richa
4 Oct 2002, 8:49 PM
this is the best i have read of yours. i liked it very much. great, sharp rhythm, macbre imagery, mood, tone...
bravo.
bravo.
replying on Life of a Cubicle Dweller by loneshadow29
4 Oct 2002, 8:43 PM
do you mean 'happy hour' by Limness?
on Life of a Cubicle Dweller by loneshadow29
4 Oct 2002, 8:43 PM
okay, i agree with mrs.g in that you are off to a good start, but i think you should incorporate her suggestions and pare it down rather than flesh it out. you tend to use a lot of words, loneshadow, and you don't need to.
"Wishing I could be among the geese" says it all. there are at least 3 other lines tacked on around this one which are completely unnecessary--this one says it all. learn to cut away. this is a beautiful line. cut this poem down by half, made up of lines like this, and you will have a gem.
"Wishing I could be among the geese" says it all. there are at least 3 other lines tacked on around this one which are completely unnecessary--this one says it all. learn to cut away. this is a beautiful line. cut this poem down by half, made up of lines like this, and you will have a gem.
on Instructions to a Sculptor by Christof
4 Oct 2002, 8:16 PM
methinks the flaw makes the man. well done, christof! ah, the things one misses when one goes away for a spell
replying on Cheap Thrills by Owner of the Sky
4 Oct 2002, 7:56 PM
the night is lovely in a ghastly way in connecticut; but i am HOME!. ah. nice.
now, as to this poem, yes, it is a good idea, but is hastily and sloppily executed, and so, it disappoints. free verse does not mean lax verse.
god is neither dead nor alive. so there.
now, as to this poem, yes, it is a good idea, but is hastily and sloppily executed, and so, it disappoints. free verse does not mean lax verse.
god is neither dead nor alive. so there.
on Possibilities by Nicholas Jones
4 Oct 2002, 7:13 AM
in your bow? or in your quiver? otherwise very nice. but that bit threw me.
on Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus
2 Oct 2002, 11:55 PM
fucking perfect, between love and hate; between holidays; betwwen adolescenece and despair. fucking perfect.
on Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus
2 Oct 2002, 3:07 PM
you, sirrah, are neither a gentleman nor a scholar, and that's exactly why i want you.
replying on Ode to Molly by knickytoy
2 Oct 2002, 3:04 PM
you would prefer a cat-poem? this, sirrah can be arranged.
nice job, knicky. is Suzu jealous?
nice job, knicky. is Suzu jealous?