poemranker ::20 most recent comments by nentwined (281-300) and replies

Comments bynentwined, 281–300 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on to move foward by ay deee 14 Dec 2005, 6:32 PM
s1 -- fun
s2 -- more fun
s3 -- simple, straightforward, but fitting
s4 -- too straightforward in seeming, to me, even though I'm completely not getting line 4; flow seems off, as well, somehow.
s5 -- also not quite fun enough (maybe if you cut 'but alas'). Hmm.
on Static by wilco 14 Dec 2005, 6:29 PM
Hmm. 4th stanza did jump out as jerky before noticing your comment, but I don't know how to be helpful. I'm really not understanding what's going on.
replying on Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco 14 Dec 2005, 6:25 PM
I might be ready to strip anon votes from counting.

thanks re: readout--just occurred to me, and it's been forever since I did a little bit of java work (these days it's all about the php).

as for the totally subjective top 20 lists, that's... sort of like the 'favorites' list you can set up? Maybe I should add a "browse favorite lists" or something. Or maybe handpick a few folks' favorites for them to "publish".

Hmm.

Want to continue this in suggestions? ;)
replying on One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined 14 Dec 2005, 6:17 PM
Huh.

That works pretty well.

Thanks. :)
on Ode to necrophilia by Bobjim 14 Dec 2005, 6:07 PM
last line's pretty funny.
replying on Moving Forward In Reverse (For Ann) by wilco 14 Dec 2005, 6:05 PM
you have any suggestions? :)

you probably have and I've ignored and/or forgotten them, but with the passing of time and memory comes curiosity.
replying on donuts and such by skaskowski 13 Dec 2005, 5:15 PM
I'm just not seeing the paster bedposts/fresco connection.
on logan st. by FreeFormFixation 13 Dec 2005, 5:14 PM
crescendo?
pimentos?

cute, but doesn't make it for me.
on zimp by calliope 13 Dec 2005, 5:13 PM
too much fun. makes me want 'Milk Cult' background.
replying on Relics in Entropy by PsydewaysTears 13 Dec 2005, 5:11 PM
ditto
on I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina 13 Dec 2005, 5:07 PM
up to "waited for you to invade dreams" flowed well for me, though "I tasted you in mind" started the downfall for me, I suppose. The beginning really needs an ending to make it exceptional, to me, and it doesn't get there.
on I Remember Thinking by BrandonW 13 Dec 2005, 5:04 PM
How in the hell did I get here?
What in the hell am I doing?
I knew I shouldn't have gone to see you!
How could I do this?

-- I don't like those lines. I'm thinking up to that point, the piece might be okay if it were a bit more breathless.

You pretty much completely lost me after that.
on end of the engagement by Mona Lisa 13 Dec 2005, 5:01 PM
feels like it's reaching further than it's grasped.
on Towards the Sun or The keeper of the bay they call a pond by somemorepoetry 13 Dec 2005, 4:59 PM
very much haiku in spirit.

funny, I didn't get "A" or "V" in letters of geese, but then pictured the rest of the poem about their dropped feathers.

hmm.
on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey 13 Dec 2005, 4:56 PM
first two stanzas are cute. third really breaks the flow in an unpleasant way.
on War (edit) by zodiac 13 Dec 2005, 4:53 PM
very odd.
on The Legend of the Crow by TLRufener 13 Dec 2005, 4:50 PM
Reads like a tortured synopsis.
on Oh Merry Fay (part 1) by ALChemy 13 Dec 2005, 4:49 PM
cute jabberwock, but didn't hold me.
on CHRISTMAS EVERYDAY by amanda_dcosta 13 Dec 2005, 4:44 PM
Definite points for saying "I need You, Baby" to Jesus. And you got a nice cadence going. Message is a bit plain and word choice seems forced, but still. "I need You, Baby".
replying on Miggy by Everyone 13 Dec 2005, 4:42 PM
I hear ya!