poemranker ::20 most recent comments by nentwined (321-340) and replies

Comments bynentwined, 321–340 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

on Eating My Soul by little_big_nose 24 May 2005, 6:55 PM
no thanks.
on Hopeless shelter by little_big_nose 24 May 2005, 6:55 PM
pimple, though could work as cheap death metal lyrics, perhaps. Has a nice, swift flow.
on Stranger by Roisin 24 May 2005, 6:53 PM
Very interesting. Simple, with a hint of meta. I think I like.

Speaking of, perhaps there should be an "add this to your favorites" from the poem-vote page...
on To Step Aside And See You Smile by LovingWhispers 24 May 2005, 6:53 PM
dense, hasn't really said anything by the sixth line that makes me want to read on...
on Where was god? by little_big_nose 24 May 2005, 6:52 PM
pimple :/
replying on Rock of the Earth by ingwa 24 May 2005, 5:01 PM
er, don't stop writing poetry--but do try to crit. The most evolution in my own writing laterly came from doing weekly anonymous challenges, where you have to crit every piece--having to not give away which one was mine somehow kickstarted my ability to see my own work from a bit more distant perspective.
replying on Rock of the Earth by ingwa 24 May 2005, 4:38 PM
Taking the second stanza out helps more than I expected. Still, the whole thing needs a lot of chopping and/or polishing. I _STRONGLY_ recommend attempting to critique other poems more than investigating your own at the moment. Post, soak in the comments, but put effort into seeing what you like and/or dislike about other's poetry, seeing how you can apply that to your own work.
on Never Ending Cycle by ingwa 24 May 2005, 4:33 PM
toped->topped, I presume?

surfers -> surfer's, maybe
swimmers -> swimmer's, definitely

still frame -> still-frame

...

I think you might have an elegant image here, between the shredded lines. Still, it's somewhat generic; hard to rub a pearl out of it.
on Rock of the Earth by ingwa 24 May 2005, 4:28 PM
"gone by" repetition hurts; I lose the rhythm in "Let me know your experience", and there's not much non-generic to pull my interest fuerther.
on Just a perfect day (Haiku) by ingwa 24 May 2005, 4:27 PM
doesn't work for me. I get the concept, but the flow stumbles.
replying on dit da haiku by nentwined 16 May 2005, 1:26 PM
I expect nothing, though honestly I was starting to worry with all the high votes on other recent submissions.
on dit da haiku by nentwined 15 May 2005, 4:18 PM
Had to get this one in for posterity, off the end of the lsat one. I'm sure someone will forgive me. Well, maybe...?
replying on Home by Dovina 5 May 2005, 2:27 PM
Alright. Well, it's GMT and that's all I can figure out at the moment. Better than nothing?
replying on Home by Dovina 5 May 2005, 12:04 PM
how now?
replying on Home by Dovina 5 May 2005, 12:02 PM
Well, it's _updating_ now. Just ... wrong by a number of hours. :/
on Home by Dovina 5 May 2005, 12:02 PM
testing comment date.
replying on Censor by nentwined 29 Apr 2005, 9:22 AM
Thoughts were censored on the way; words were picked after others were discarded. Or that's the best I can do on 20 hours of sleep this week.
replying on Iterated Fuck by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 2:40 PM
Your rendition of this continues to haunt me.
replying on Censor by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 12:23 PM
Cool. =)

Thanks.
replying on Censor by nentwined 28 Apr 2005, 12:18 PM
I bet this is much, much worse now. :)