on Can you comment and vote? by LuckyJoe
16 Sep 2003, 9:45 AM
I vote on everything, but you have to do something of higher quality than this (or something more repulsive) to get a comment every time!
on Babelfish Poetry (VI): les Graines de Notre Fin (Français) by Geschäftsreise
16 Sep 2003, 9:37 AM
Nice fable about the "first subsidiary ones" (care to shed an original language translation that means more)
I liked the line "La force de notre force ne peut pas dépasser la force de notre faiblesse" especially. Reminds me of the novel, "Ishmael".
I liked the line "La force de notre force ne peut pas dépasser la force de notre faiblesse" especially. Reminds me of the novel, "Ishmael".
on tRuNdLe WhEeL by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
15 Sep 2003, 10:23 AM
callipers is not in my dictionary, so I must agree with Dark Angel. Cute though. "Hum dum dee dum, dum dum dee dum, I'm so rumbly in my tumbly."
on playing the scratching game by nentwined
15 Sep 2003, 10:19 AM
Your comments are so constructive and thorough, you DO deserve comments in return.
on A Night Nurse by The_Third_Isis
15 Sep 2003, 10:17 AM
hypos- hippos.
I liked the play on the word pray/prey.
The rhyme at the beginning made it seem cornier than you might have intended.
I liked the play on the word pray/prey.
The rhyme at the beginning made it seem cornier than you might have intended.
on sitting at the cliff's edge by nentwined
15 Sep 2003, 10:12 AM
Beautiful, you made the repitition so meaningful and lyric. This line "clinging us each tighter to the other" was a little awkward, could do without the "us", I think- or possibly replace w/ "clinging each of us tighter to the other". 10
on My nails are in love with your chalkboard by Jeremi B. Handrinos
15 Sep 2003, 10:04 AM
I could think of lower forms of whoring.
replying on Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy
15 Sep 2003, 9:25 AM
Yeah, I know, that is how I feel about it too.
replying on Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy
14 Sep 2003, 1:42 PM
I worked hard on that objective indifference, and "apparent" is right- nice distinction. Was it effective?
on Babelfish Poetry (V): 容æãªæè (Japanese) by Geschäftsreise
14 Sep 2003, 1:35 PM
I was surprised that it actually worked, because my screen is full of 0000's. ç¾ãããå度ã
replying on When Jesus Found Me by http://mulberryfairy
14 Sep 2003, 1:31 PM
Thanks for balancing out the negative comments directed at my harmless and fun poem. You've got me about the so-called monotheism, I've done my asking and am tired of hearing the believers beat around the bush.
on < A Perfect Faith > by Mona Lisa
14 Sep 2003, 11:06 AM
right
on Watching My Son Sleep. by Mona Lisa
14 Sep 2003, 11:05 AM
Cute, and ambiguous as to the narrator's feelings there at the end.
on horse ass, whore ass, poor asses by peaceseeker
14 Sep 2003, 10:57 AM
Was this thonged masochist you? I liked the title, but you could use another reference to the horse ass part in your poem- maybe the horsebacked female cops that are so attracted to downtown Portland at night.
on Plastic is Forever by http://mulberryfairy
13 Sep 2003, 9:34 PM
Suggestions for "plastic-ized"? I imagine it sounding like plastisized, but don't think it is a word, and taking out the "c" makes it seem unclear-er.
on I can, could, would. by TheVoiceless
13 Sep 2003, 8:57 PM
nice title
on Babelfish Poetry (IV): Hablaré en pensamientos (Español) by Geschäftsreise
13 Sep 2003, 8:35 PM
These ears can't hear you ~>
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
on my fucking dad by timvick473662003
13 Sep 2003, 8:24 PM
I like the detachment (dissociation) when you say "watching your dad beat you"- but I didn't like it as much toward the end, I couldn't really believe that the narrator would be able to be so remorseless about his/her mother's death.
replying on If I Wrote The Perfect Poem by toward
12 Sep 2003, 8:05 PM
I heard Toni Morrison say that once, too. She said that with computer writing, people don't chose their words as carefully. You know I read that Flannery O'Connor, even well into her chronic pain and fatigue due to lupus, would start her writing each day by rewriting every line up to that point in the story, then continue from there. I'd never edit if I had to write that way, but notice how succinct her stories are. Anyway, the length of my comment shows that I am guilty.
on THE BEST POEM EVER!!!!!! by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
12 Sep 2003, 7:45 PM
But alas, you misspelled "assumption", so all the power that your poem might have had to reverse vasectomies, etc., is voided.