on some deleted poem
18 Dec 2003, 8:44 PM
you didn't know this facet of his glorious existance?
LoL - it's just one glittering side of a complicated cut.
LoL - it's just one glittering side of a complicated cut.
on some deleted poem
20 Dec 2003, 6:08 PM
Been some time since my last mushy love poem posting.
on I Love You by Blindpoetry
20 Dec 2003, 6:53 PM
I don't know, spence...
I doesn't say much more that what's said in the title alone.
I doesn't say much more that what's said in the title alone.
on Mixed Feelings by PunkyPanda
20 Dec 2003, 6:55 PM
i'd like to see the sentiment without any attemps at making it rhyme.
on some deleted poem
20 Dec 2003, 6:58 PM
is interesting enough - particularly:
"the water of a chain linked son
the production of one cell to a billion
to none"
Needs to be about 70% this length (and complexity)
"the water of a chain linked son
the production of one cell to a billion
to none"
Needs to be about 70% this length (and complexity)
on 12673 Jalepeno ave. Chino, Ca. by Jeremi B. Handrinos
20 Dec 2003, 7:04 PM
Yep. It put me in the moment.
Somehow I found myself trying to think of a different last line. I don't know if it was me enjoying the aftertaste; imagining possibilities/extending the vision - or a hunger pain.
Did you try other ones?
Somehow I found myself trying to think of a different last line. I don't know if it was me enjoying the aftertaste; imagining possibilities/extending the vision - or a hunger pain.
Did you try other ones?
on Live for Die for by firestorm998
27 Dec 2003, 9:58 PM
Certainly a nice idea - but the execution... Despite Richa's [everpresent] sour tone, I agree with him.
on Lenola prays with a stiletto by SupremeDreamer
27 Dec 2003, 10:01 PM
I liked "and well-thumbed rosary" but not the repeated noun. Same with stiletto.
I like the characterization lots, you know, that you gave her a name.
I like the characterization lots, you know, that you gave her a name.
on We Are Still Friends by Blindpoetry
27 Dec 2003, 10:02 PM
yep. thats a pimple alright.
good ending.
good ending.
on some deleted poem
28 Dec 2003, 6:35 PM
Tweaked, thank you for your comments.
on I cant stand you by sk8rs_rule_all
28 Dec 2003, 6:39 PM
"You make me mad
when i should be glad."
"Just die aready,
i wont cry
i'll laugh.
I'll be glad,
and no longer mad!!!"
classic pimple.
when i should be glad."
"Just die aready,
i wont cry
i'll laugh.
I'll be glad,
and no longer mad!!!"
classic pimple.
on Add More Oil by heartlessempath
28 Dec 2003, 6:43 PM
I like this talk of a girl in water, with oil.
and I like the poem - I want to give it a nine.
so, I will.
and I like the poem - I want to give it a nine.
so, I will.
on Beauty Sleep by Blindpoetry
28 Dec 2003, 6:45 PM
somehow - sad.
on Santa’s Journal 25thDec2003 by ShaNoN+960317485
29 Dec 2003, 4:55 AM
"quelling giggles" - nice
on How to spend New Years in denial by Bachus
31 Dec 2003, 10:29 PM
bummer dude, bummer.
on advice to innovators by (m)ee cummings by irishfolksuicide
31 Dec 2003, 10:39 PM
She mite, then she mite not, though if she tried with all her mite, she mite - but only if she had the rite foresite to make it at the rite time in spite of [that other guy]'s rite to smite the mite, am I rite? Not quite.
on You tell me by Ariella
31 Dec 2003, 10:43 PM
peppered with error - and it needs salt.
on Cornerstone by darkshark
1 Jan 2004, 7:41 AM
sounds like a real catch.
I like the refrain - you shall have a snowman (8)
I like the refrain - you shall have a snowman (8)
I won't castigate you for leaving out the "no God" path which would be a natural extension of lines 2 and 3 (could be accomplished by changing "And", to "Or".
The thing builds rather nicely, though its not as poetic as some of your others.