on some deleted poem
8 Jan 2004, 1:57 PM
Rings well - the punctuation could be cleaned up a bit though (please).
on some deleted poem
8 Jan 2004, 1:58 PM
a very nice ditty, and not a bit shitty.
on Acrylic Sunrise by MacFrantic
8 Jan 2004, 2:01 PM
Love the title lots.
The litany of basic color names didn't quite work for me though. If it wasn't fairly similar in structure to something I just wrote, I might like it more (I've been in a "sky" phase).
The litany of basic color names didn't quite work for me though. If it wasn't fairly similar in structure to something I just wrote, I might like it more (I've been in a "sky" phase).
on some deleted poem
8 Jan 2004, 2:03 PM
nice start - kill the first comma and put it after vineyard then kill one after past.
kill the first "And"
And the second one.
Maybe trade the third and last for a "So".
A nice little tale.
kill the first "And"
And the second one.
Maybe trade the third and last for a "So".
A nice little tale.
on some deleted poem
11 Jan 2004, 12:37 PM
Running out of stuff from 2002!
on Da Ghetto by <{Baba^Yaga}>
11 Jan 2004, 12:40 PM
Bling bling prose, I like angle with the parenthetical sober commentary.
on O Endless Angst, Thou Stingeth Me by Goad
13 Jan 2004, 1:51 PM
"with the voices of owls"
nice.
nice.
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2004, 7:49 AM
killed me with the first line.
dead.
But I kept on reading in case it was poetic satire of some type, like some kind of storking large black wolf zombie - trapped forever as a creature of the night.
Now I hang from a bony-fingered tree like a vampire bat and hand you an "L".
I think you could make a good story from it, though.
dead.
But I kept on reading in case it was poetic satire of some type, like some kind of storking large black wolf zombie - trapped forever as a creature of the night.
Now I hang from a bony-fingered tree like a vampire bat and hand you an "L".
I think you could make a good story from it, though.
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2004, 7:52 AM
loose lips ... are fun at parties.
what is it a picture of? I will build you a snowman while the image forms in my tired head.
what is it a picture of? I will build you a snowman while the image forms in my tired head.
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2004, 3:00 PM
"ending a bloodline" has to go.
on A stitch by EAger to Offend
2 Jan 2004, 6:28 PM
some conjuringing? a curse? Have a snowman; eat his nose.
on Haikus for Nentwined by horus8
3 Jan 2004, 6:10 AM
a ten in the hopes we may be blessed with his holy presence.
on some deleted poem
4 Jan 2004, 7:26 PM
some optimism for a change (even if we are all screwed).
on some deleted poem
4 Jan 2004, 7:31 PM
cool.
I wonder if it would be better for the omission of "ranch".
a ten nonetheless.
I wonder if it would be better for the omission of "ranch".
a ten nonetheless.
on Dance in my Golden Shower by SupremeDreamer
7 Jan 2004, 7:58 AM
gross.
having the spinach and the vitamin first was just plain evil.
having the spinach and the vitamin first was just plain evil.
on BreakBeat TimeTravel by nentwined
7 Jan 2004, 8:01 AM
I like how you suckered me into the rythm of it - but I could do without the last line.
on some deleted poem
7 Jan 2004, 8:03 AM
Are you sure he sleeps with the fish??
on Last flight of a goose by Bobjim
7 Jan 2004, 8:04 AM
more.
on Waiting to inhale (Stardust & God's Black Nostril) by Don-Quixote
7 Jan 2004, 8:23 AM
I dunno, religion is tough to pick on with a straight face anymore. Kindof like bitch-slapping someone with a learning disability for not knowing linear math; tough to tell who's more retarded.
To do it in a non-informative way - without explanation, is adopting the same philosophies that a believer relies on.
Not that I don't do the same damn thing.
That having been said, I find this entertaining enough to give it a yellowed snowman (courtesy of SupremeDreamer).
To do it in a non-informative way - without explanation, is adopting the same philosophies that a believer relies on.
Not that I don't do the same damn thing.
That having been said, I find this entertaining enough to give it a yellowed snowman (courtesy of SupremeDreamer).