on some deleted poem
10 Oct 2002, 7:53 AM
You suck.
on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2002, 3:25 PM
You have out poemed the lot. Delicious as figs in cream. Golden threads are not easily broken. I wish I had a girlfriend. To lay my face down in her hair, between her breasts.
on e-mail from a friend by josh_5o
10 Oct 2002, 11:36 PM
mostly excellent.
on Walk in a dream (an ode to self help poems) by Bachus
10 Oct 2002, 8:00 AM
I braced myself for the punch, you were certain to deliver.
on Breeze by Nicholas Jones
11 Oct 2002, 8:18 AM
The middle line speaks to me on several levels, suprisingly. I'm in a sensitive mood.
on Safe Distance, 10-10-02 by Frass
10 Oct 2002, 2:38 PM
Well, someones been doing their exercises. I love the way this piece looks, and also "pumping gas in Manassas" the last lines at the end of S1 & S2 should be eliminated. Lines 3,4, & 5 in S2 need tiobe re-worked slightly. S3 needs to be re-worked. Sounds like a hurried after-thought.
on more{Porn*Star}{Hai*kus} by horus8
10 Oct 2002, 2:45 PM
Revolting, but in a good way. Why does porn make me queasy? Should there be parenthesis' around L2 in the 1st Haiku?
on Temptation Stings, Midday Nashville by <~>
10 Oct 2002, 7:46 AM
I can always count on you to make things interesting. You communicate emotion through concrete images, my favorite.
on The Thought Of It by Christof
10 Oct 2002, 7:50 AM
Oh my, what a difference that makes. Who'd a thunk it.
on The Thought Of It by Christof
10 Oct 2002, 7:23 AM
lines 4,5, & 6 are confusing. The last image I believe would work better if you replaced 'Like' with 'All' the poor dear really is a prisoner.
on some deleted poem
10 Oct 2002, 7:30 AM
Hmmm. The first metaphor using the candle is very good. the second is questionable. I sthe snowflake lost, or destroyed? Senses/tempest is a nice rhyme.
on The Thought Of It by Christof
10 Oct 2002, 7:32 AM
"We were thinking of" you end the line on a preposition, and I my mind expects a new thought afterward.
on why? by little_angel_maria
9 Oct 2002, 8:32 PM
I just want to let you know I'm very proud of you for being able to share what happened to you. You should contact www.rainn.org. they'd love to hear from you. Get all the support you need. I know exactly what you're going through.
on Confused by planetdicko
9 Oct 2002, 7:55 PM
the rhyme scheme of the last stanza has some merit. I suggest you take a writing class. Also find what you love and read it til it falls apart.
on Ode to my childhood by nopal
9 Oct 2002, 8:20 PM
I rather like the first stanza, then it loses it's momentum.
on some deleted poem
12 Oct 2002, 11:42 AM
The opposite of poetry, this good sir is science.
on the truth about poets by New Life Drug
10 Oct 2002, 7:10 PM
Are you really 13?
on some deleted poem
11 Oct 2002, 3:57 PM
See Untitled III.