on Origins by Doug
21 Jun 2004, 7:01 PM
psycho-babble
on You can seize my smile by Prince of Void
15 Jun 2004, 3:19 PM
Your crowns on too tight.
on some deleted poem
15 Jun 2004, 3:21 PM
Did you run-over your wife?
on Girl and a Drugstore Novel by snacktime
15 Jun 2004, 3:24 PM
If poetry was a picnic, this would be potato salad that sat out int he sun too long.
on some deleted poem
15 Jun 2004, 3:27 PM
Do you sing this at AA meetings? No, impossible, since they're all better poets than you, they'd throw coffee cups at your head, and burn you with their cigarettes.
on Dealer (a senyru) by Mona Lisa
15 Jun 2004, 3:30 PM
Thwere should be a period at the end of the 3rd line, or no puncuation at all.
on some deleted poem
15 Jun 2004, 3:02 PM
Crap from the first. Why don't you submit an application to MTV's MADE. They'll send you a poetry coach, and put you on a diet.
on some deleted poem
15 Jun 2004, 3:10 PM
Q: When is a cock not suspicious?
A: When it's LONGanimous. (you know, patient endurance of HARDship)
A: When it's LONGanimous. (you know, patient endurance of HARDship)
on do you talk out loud in public? by peaceseeker
14 Jun 2004, 8:40 PM
I love this poem from the title on, but it's all a jumble. Sometimes it takes years.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:42 PM
'...lady parts...' is aces. What's biffed?
on Thin Blood by Rodavlas
14 Jun 2004, 8:43 PM
Exactly.
Exactly right.
You deserve to live.
Exactly right.
You deserve to live.
on The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes
14 Jun 2004, 8:21 PM
Nice user name, but this poem is sadly magniloquent.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:25 PM
Get rid of the first couplet.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:28 PM
What's pebble dashed?
Dreams sold cheaply.
This is not a Haiku. It might be great as something else. Explore.
Dreams sold cheaply.
This is not a Haiku. It might be great as something else. Explore.
on A Chance to Say Goodbye by TLRufener
14 Jun 2004, 8:33 PM
Childish.
on Conscription by Caducus
14 Jun 2004, 8:35 PM
Great title, but you fall into the abyss at the 3rd line. It's a nice idea, how is it you always put to much sauce on the biscuits?
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:36 PM
Nonsense.
on do you talk out loud in public? by peaceseeker
14 Jun 2004, 8:39 PM
Terrific insight. You need to narrow this universe down. Take it easy. This could be a great great poem. Slow it down a bit. Do some research, study words.