on Love by pshah4life
12 Jun 2004, 6:58 PM
Shut up.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 7:26 PM
From the dark tunnel...a raindrop was felt? I like the last couplet, and the raindrops.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 7:29 PM
Was this written at a fish&chips ? The image here is ridiculous.
on Big wave by DR Limerick
14 Jun 2004, 7:37 PM
Excellent.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 7:40 PM
Nice image. Do yuo ever try playing around with the words?
on You and I by Lifeboatman
14 Jun 2004, 7:49 PM
This poem suffers from verbal dysenteria. Take two aspirins and shoot me in the morning.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:10 PM
Fucking great. I'm shocked. Get rid of 'by someone'.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:15 PM
Also it should be 'my ability' not 'and ability'.
"I hope there is no question" You don't need 'THAT' in the sentence.
"The happiness I am sure I have never known'.(Why is evryone in love with the word THAT? My son stopped making THAT mistake at age 7).
I especially like the last line because you say I could fall in love, when you already have.
"I hope there is no question" You don't need 'THAT' in the sentence.
"The happiness I am sure I have never known'.(Why is evryone in love with the word THAT? My son stopped making THAT mistake at age 7).
I especially like the last line because you say I could fall in love, when you already have.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:16 PM
Get out more.
on some deleted poem
14 Jun 2004, 8:18 PM
Better the first time.
on Call Me by hatedestruction
14 Jun 2004, 8:19 PM
Meanderer.
on Of Absinthe and Asphalt by pain killer
12 Jun 2004, 6:53 PM
What a complete bore you are.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2004, 6:20 PM
A hole that swallows horizons?
Fires burned down the beach?
Drug: A narcotic substance.
A 'rebel' of sea salt? It's insergence, not insergent.
Fires burned down the beach?
Drug: A narcotic substance.
A 'rebel' of sea salt? It's insergence, not insergent.
on some deleted poem
12 Jun 2004, 6:25 PM
What's with all the pronouns? The most common mistake poetry hacks make, is not using nouns. This is a interesting as a venetian blind.
on The Chamber by nothingtoanyone
12 Jun 2004, 6:32 PM
Are you mis-spelling all those words on purpose? Not to mention the lack of grammar.
on Visions Divulge by thing1
12 Jun 2004, 6:36 PM
Schizophrenia deluxe.
on fire has its own logic by impert&ent
11 Jun 2004, 8:39 PM
There's something innocent and frail about this poem, probably the honesty and use of everyday words. Lovely, your poem. She's got a few problems but they're small. Is this a first edit?
on some deleted poem
11 Jun 2004, 8:47 PM
What the hell's got into you? You're writing inspired lines now, how does it feel? This needs editing but tonight I justfeel like admiring other people's children, not critizing them. I'll come back when I'm not feeling so warm and cozy.