on I am Cuba by cacophony
15 Oct 2002, 9:58 PM
Great beginnings. Heart murmur/clock is a terrific metaphor, whether politica, social or personal. The last stanza does not stand up to the intelligence of the first.
replying on Reptiles & Dust - Part One by Wulf
15 Oct 2002, 9:51 PM
I am a half-wit in comparison to your prolificness. How can I open my mind like this? A hive thrown to the ground, cracked open and revealing it's store. I shall read all the rest.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 10:39 AM
I interpreted the title as that imagined place. Doan's country. Our country. The space between.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 10:35 AM
Yes, yes. And I have an amnesia of sorts. You own the photographs that revel myself to me. Both as a person and as a poet. Would it work as "your humming"?
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 10:27 AM
The poem speaks, but as you said it is just a baby. a beautiful baby. Please, if you do't mind, I really would like your honest opinion on my poems. You started once, but never came back to it. I respect your abilities as a writer and I hope to improve, so if you have some time help me out.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 10:11 AM
Yes but this scar is mine, or so you said. Perhaps one of "loves lies", if so do not destroy the illusion with the truth.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 10:07 AM
You're so right. That's how I know something's finished. what I love in other poems of yours. I knew the words came from a tango, and you picked them so well. I don't have a copy of this one, do you know the title? I'm glad you like the station. My birthday present to you. Bringing history is important. You know more about my homeland then I. I am it, you have studied it. That reminds me, "Teacher and apprentice to..." shouldn't it be too? I think you should end the line with apprentice.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:56 AM
Yes and no. Ardent is more an..., I can't explain it well but I'll try. In english we use burning to mean desire. In Spanish it is not so. Ardent, in Spanish is not a true burning it is more the sensation you get when you've touched posion ivy. An extreme irritation. And then there is the sound of the words.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:51 AM
We are surrounded by n ocean of chaperones. This, for me, is a safe adventure. He stays in his row-boat, I stay in mine. I love the inspiration and the relating. Like building a house together for the poemes to live in.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:47 AM
On second thought it shouldn't be burning lips. It should be ardent lips.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:43 AM
The roots are taking hold, but no blossoms yet. "To leave a promise on burning lips" "I long to calm your madness/With loves lies"
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:35 AM
I didn't really get the last stanza til last night. Good job. I thought you were speaking only of your losses and then I saw it. Will you have that scar on your chin forever?
on Rummage Sales by jessicazee
15 Oct 2002, 9:28 AM
Delightful.
replying on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 9:18 AM
No te mandes la parte, si me entiendes. Why no replies?
on One Country by poetandknowit
15 Oct 2002, 12:08 AM
Poetandknowit, why do you hoard your answers like they're bones? Please write. Real mail would be nice. You own my address, put a stamp on it.
on our morning bed by daniella
15 Oct 2002, 12:05 AM
Please do not disappear. I need you here. The way a mule needs a steady and knowing kick. Love the title
on cornered invitation by daniella
14 Oct 2002, 11:59 PM
You right like a boy on drugs. Good for you, excellent even.
on choices unto death by daniella
14 Oct 2002, 11:55 PM
God good they will. And try on your things while you're still breathing. They surely will. Last line is confusing to me, but what isn't this day.
on words our Father by daniella
14 Oct 2002, 11:52 PM
This is perhaps too personal for me to appreciate. I lose myself towards the middle and continue lost til the end.