From a scientific point-of-view, every sentence in this poem is wrong.

That's not the point, you say, I'm being metaphorickal, the science doesn't matter.

If that is the case, your face is beautiful as a bum.

Once, while staying at a hotel in Mexico City with my wife, I became so ill from the tapwater that I used two rolls of toilet paper per day for an entire week. By the time I was finally able to leave the hotel room, I'd lost 15 pounds.

PS-Do you think that as a simile "X is utterly unlike Y" is as good or useful as "X is like Y"?

Stupid, stupid.

You ought to have looked up the appropriate spelling for jheri curl before you spelled it like the name of that actress who played Seven-of-Nine on Star Trek:Voyager, which I bet big money you have taped and filed somewhere at your house.

Are you related to Blindpoetry?

Why did you stop being nowhereman?

What's this I've found in my snatch?
I can't tell - has anyone got a match?
Is it a sin to do it anally?
Can I really speak any way but banally?

Why on earth are you saying 'ayudame' instead of 'help me' or even 'tolong saya'?

Is it because, since you don't speak Spanish very well, 'ayudame' sounds deep and kind of beautiful, while the English and Malay versions sound bland and vaguely adolescent?

Yes!!! You actually listened to my suggestion!

I feel afraid when I think of how in the last week poemranker has lost the last of its non-retarded qualities, becoming merely a retard-powered beard of a crumb-repository for all of the most disastrously illiterate and overwrought nonsense ever spoken - including, I'm afraid, my own.

*******

NB-This message is in code. To discover its true meaning, replace every instance of the word 'afraid' with 'bored and more than a little ashamed'. Thanks.

The sentence construction [As I do something in the present tense, something happens in present tense] should be bound and gagged in a basement somewhere and beaten into a coma by a band of masked salami-wielding EastEnder hoodlums.

Tuffy (Villanelle) by horus8

"Pardon me sir, do you have a tuffy?"
I asked the man in the grey trencoat,
He said, "Why, yes! Wanna see it, lovey?"

Congratulations on making the top of the Best Lyrics list. Now, please sit down and put your pants back on. -10-

You're the most middling load of bollocks ever.

The first line of the second stanza would sound better if it were "Huge creatures lumbered here once, lowed their song", with the line broken wherever you want.

The word "utterly" needs replacing more than "huge" does.

You retard. This poem is a soggy Christmas-sock full of errors.

First, you've gotten god'swife and me hopelessly confused. We are not the same person.

Second, neither of us said either of the things you attribute to (one of) us, you fuckwit. god'swife said "I'm going through big changes right now and a kind of rebuilding of my self knowledge". I said "I want the cool kids to like me". If you're going to mash our quotes together like some hideous cheesy prawne-log, at least use our real words. As it happens, I wouldn't be caught dead saying either "wanna" or "hang with", both of which I consider embarassingly 'pop culture'.

Third, your a fuckwit.

Fourth, as it happens, I WAS bullied at grade-school, but now I'm a 'real-world success story' after only seven years of Accredited Poetry School. Last Harvest Festival, the townfolk voted me King Cornhusk.

Fifthly, my definition of poetry is the correct one. Yours is not.

And Lastly, your a cock. I've never said everyone who lives in China is a Chinaman. Anyone knows Tibetians and Mongoloids also inhabit the Chinkish territories.

-10-

And you misspelled innuendo.

re "At any moment the climb turns.
And you're falling down
but still aware of the
handles you're passing up."

Are you just using 'you' to be chatty, or are you seriously assuming we're all the same kind of self-absorbed impotents that your narrator is?

Is it

AN ILLEGAL HOUSE-PRAWNE???!!?!!/1

Another enormous let-down.