on Life by marvelis
2 Feb 2003, 9:48 PM
You snuck in a flask tonight didn't you.
on unsent by Bill Z Bub
2 Feb 2003, 9:47 PM
I know you probably want this a tad abstract, but I think if you were a bit more in touch with the setting and created more specific images it would be more powerful overall. Not that this isn't a decent effort. There are some nice ideas behind the words but I think you could try to strengthen your metaphor. You did a nice job extending it, but if you threw some more specifics in for clarity, I think you would have a good piece. I was just waiting the whole poem to get that tingling in my lower back and it just never materialized. Damn.
on Cant sleep, clown will eat me.(A poem about clowns) by lunar
2 Feb 2003, 9:35 PM
Do you ever lie awake at night and wonder aloud to god why he gave me such great talent and you so little? Do you ever wonder about that just before you go to sleep, when you can feel yourself start to drift and are still conscious enough to make the choice of whether to give in to the drift or fight? Like a preview of dying. Is that what you mean here. Is it raining in Liverpool today?
on Run Forest! Run... by Bachus
2 Feb 2003, 9:33 PM
Daring! Original! Creative!
on flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub
2 Feb 2003, 9:25 PM
Good thing you wrote this in high school. Of course, your writing hasn't changed all that much, eh? Good try!!
replying on Savior Self by OneFingerAnswer
2 Feb 2003, 9:21 PM
I have a narrow mind and I am gay. And zero, my dear sweet zero, was doing us all a favor with her definition regardless if it was prose or a poem. It needed to be said. For the love of my cat Babbit, it needed to be said. Is it raining in Baltimore?
on The Kansas City Chiefs suck by Jeremi B. Handrinos
2 Feb 2003, 9:11 PM
No sweetie, not a ladder, a resume. Thanks for the poem. See you soon. Stay out of trouble.
replying on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
2 Feb 2003, 6:11 PM
It would look cute. But at least I would suck my own and not everyone elses. Do you swallow? Or is that extra?
replying on Bein' Vegan by poetandknowit
2 Feb 2003, 6:07 PM
Must you comment with all your pathetic characters? I have decided, when you can write as well as me, you can comment. Until then go play with your kid and call Ornella.
on Hermes Trigamestus (was not a monk edit) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
2 Feb 2003, 5:31 PM
I think Shardick is your weakest character yet.
on Savior Self by OneFingerAnswer
2 Feb 2003, 5:28 PM
I would rather read 100 well written poems than just one of your lyrics or poems. I find it interesting the narrow mind you have when it comes to poetry. Maybe it is because you are gay.
You sir, are the worst excuse for a pimple poet on this site! Can you really expect anyone over 16 to take you seriously as a writer? Well, minus DA. Do you expect praise from the poets of my stature? I mean, come on. Read this aloud with out laughing and I will buy you a pint!
on Cloak Of Love by brokenwing
2 Feb 2003, 4:59 PM
BEST POEM EVER!!!!!
on One Moment to the Other (v2) by nentwined
2 Feb 2003, 4:57 PM
Does using word varations like temp'ry, mem'ry, 'tis make a poem more poetic?
on Summer by MaliqaTara
2 Feb 2003, 4:27 PM
"I dont really care what people think about my writing, but if another, I feel, decent poet from this site constructively criticized my work, I might pay attention." Do you know how many people say this yet still post there work here? If you do not care what people think then you would not post a poem. This poem has some exceptionally nice cliches in it. My favorite is "whisper in the dark."
on I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike
2 Feb 2003, 10:26 AM
and don't forget writer of triangle poems!!!
on I Am a Snob, or, 'A Definition' by JakeBike
2 Feb 2003, 10:25 AM
Blade is just a mindless brit popper. He is trying to be stupid so remove him. But add Range and put Cadacus back on there!!!!! And DA for his abundance of ass pimples!!! And God's Wife for that Raven poem!!
replying on NASA Fireworks by TheDevil
2 Feb 2003, 10:22 AM
This is just sweet little Tintigales way of being on the edge and controversial. Really, he is a sweet boy. Forgive him.
replying on Beauty, sleeping by Ranger
30 Jan 2003, 11:31 AM
It is Brit Poppers and Cad is not apart of them. You, on the other hand, are.
on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub
29 Jan 2003, 11:19 PM
din't - is this a new word or a typo? The last part sounds like you could rap it. Are you one of those hard hittn' street poete's?