on A Piñon Planter by Dovina
27 Aug 2004, 8:16 PM
As I said: Not your best, but still one of the top 5 I've read today (Excluding the Dylan Thomas).
on some deleted poem
24 Aug 2004, 4:54 PM
The best I've seen from you in a while, my friend.
on St. Patrick’s Cathedral by Dovina
27 Aug 2004, 8:06 PM
Ok, I'm reading his as someone questioning their faith. That may not be what you're trying to convey, but that's how I read it. It is funny how the Christian fith is so gloomy and dark in nature. I don't understand why it has to have all these depressing icons to build up a point about eternal happiness.
Anyway, I think this is a good construcion of te idea: "Searching for the strength to die, without somewhere to go." It's a scary thought that when you die it's all over. That's why religion is important: It gives us a reason to live AND a reason to die.
Anyway, I think this is a good construcion of te idea: "Searching for the strength to die, without somewhere to go." It's a scary thought that when you die it's all over. That's why religion is important: It gives us a reason to live AND a reason to die.
on Beached (Or how I learned to give up the day) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
27 Aug 2004, 8:14 PM
As usual, good job.
on some deleted poem
19 Aug 2004, 4:46 PM
Something feels right here. Good job.
on some deleted poem
17 Aug 2004, 3:14 PM
Excellently done DGB.
on Fugitively Speaking by Dovina
17 Aug 2004, 3:07 PM
very nice, D. Poetic and all that. :0)
on The Finger of my Mind by sliver
17 Aug 2004, 3:30 PM
yep, verse 2 is good. I like 3 too, but 2 is better.
on some deleted poem
17 Aug 2004, 3:34 PM
I agree with INTRANSIT. You've got a lot better than this in you.
on Lonelier than you- by samuel sturgeon
17 Aug 2004, 3:32 PM
better than the last one I read. -8-
on Deep inside silence of a dark breeze by Prince of Void
17 Aug 2004, 3:41 PM
thats a whole lotta y.
on Pomegranate Girl by Caducus
17 Aug 2004, 3:36 PM
I like this one too, but the rhyme takes away from it, I think.
on Mr. Stryker, Do You Really Want Some Kind of War? by cat
5 Aug 2004, 11:00 AM
I think that this would be good if it was trimmed down some.
on some deleted poem
5 Aug 2004, 10:48 AM
I think this would be stronger without the "usig the porn" part at the end. Up until there, very nice.
on some deleted poem
5 Aug 2004, 10:55 AM
I just wanted to echo the fact that this writing style you've adopted is quite nice.
on The Chaos by Prince of Void
31 Jul 2004, 7:23 PM
Take Dovina's advice and lose the first satanza
on THEY SAY YOU ARE AN ANGEL by massangel62
31 Jul 2004, 8:02 PM
Therapeutic?
Also, you don't have to copyright your poems here.
Also, you don't have to copyright your poems here.
on some deleted poem
31 Jul 2004, 7:25 PM
Wow. This is a little more hostile than what I'm used to reading from you. Take that hempidea and maybe go a different direction with it...then you'll be chill. ;0)
on Fragile by QuirkyWonder
31 Jul 2004, 7:21 PM
See what happens when you post poetry that people don't enjoy reading. You get comments like that. This is better than "Dead" and doesn't have a bad idea behind it, but you need to work on your presentation.