Re: and the world evolves by peaceseeker	wilco 24.176.102.131	17-May-04/1:26 PM
I'd give the poem an 8, but since I just read that you're a social worker I'm going to give you a 10. This is because, as a social worker, I know how bad it is.
Re: Sunrise by Katrina	titan69 62.31.23.123	17-May-04/1:28 PM
And go home to your wife!!
Re: Just a Blink of and Eye by Katrina	titan69 62.31.23.123	17-May-04/1:31 PM
you do know you can never go back??
Re: 'Till Then by sliver	wilco 24.176.102.131	17-May-04/1:32 PM
That's quite a sad little song...played mostly in minor chords I'd bet..
Re: Sunrise by Katrina	wilco 24.176.102.131	17-May-04/1:37 PM
Well, for starters, I would work on your spelling (although I think many of the ones here are simply typos).
Re: Endless Loop Of Dot Dot by Blindpoetry	Phalkon 205.188.116.140	17-May-04/5:38 PM
dude, you should post a lot of this stuff into the blind forum!
Re: sum of squares by nentwined	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/8:40 PM
I love this-you have read my mind. Good job.
regarding some deleted poem...	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/8:50 PM
I love the first two stanzas, something everyone can relate to.
regarding some deleted poem...	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/9:05 PM
I agree with Shin Shuu. This was well done, could probably be tweaked a bit, but well done.
Re: Sunrise by Katrina	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/9:21 PM
Some parts of this were cliche, but its so true, isn't it funny how life works like that, and I know I could have written the same thing, so I can't fault you for that! Regardless, I love this, good job.
Re: What's The Point? by Phalkon	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/9:32 PM
Well that attitue will get you no where! But I do sympathize. A bit whinny, but I am not one to judge! Not bad.
Re: Wanting To Much by Katrina	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/9:41 PM
Do you mean for the title to be "Wanting TOO Much"? Some spelling errors, sorry to be nit picky. I think you can cut some stuff out, a bit repetitive, a standard poem on lost love, what makes this special or stand out? I think you could make this really good, you have plenty to work with. Nice start. Bob, can you read my poems when you are in the mood to give all 10's?!! :) Thanks!
regarding some deleted poem...	caitydee 64.12.116.70	17-May-04/10:57 PM
I love this. The first two lines of the bridge maybe could use some work, but when put to music it probably wouldn't bother me. Regardless, I love it.
Re: Wanting To Much by Katrina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 212.219.223.8	18-May-04/2:50 AM
Wrong. -10-
Re: I Dream Angel by horus8	SupremeDreamer 66.52.155.64	18-May-04/5:19 AM
This is your best work yet, in my opinion- it touches my soul, and I can relate to it. I'll be stickin this one in my favs. Blessed with ten.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 67.240.155.132	18-May-04/5:25 AM
This isn't terrible. However, if you ever try to do anything with it (such as, say, read it aloud or show it to people) you're going to run into trouble because of the whole Van Gogh thing. It's just a bad move, and it's hardly even an "art" allusion, since every redneck in America has at least a refrigerator magnet of Starry Night, if not a t-shirt of it. And what's more, you've essentially said "the night sky looks like a painting of the sky at night." Bravo. Van Gogh gets to do all the interpretive work, while you get off super-easy. If you're going to compare the sky to art, you might at least 1. compare it to some less universally-known work than Starry Night (even Monet's famous portrait of that nanny would work; it's at the Chicago Institute, I think, if you want to look it up,) or 2. some work of art that's not already a representation of the sky - something that requires the reader, and you, to actually make some symbolic leap - I don't know, Jackson Pollock or Duchamp's Fountain or something. Actually, Jackson Pollock would be just as annoying. You might be better off just comparing the night sky to piss splatter on your bathroom floor, like everyone else.
regarding some deleted poem...	Phalkon 64.12.116.140	18-May-04/5:27 AM
damn, that's long
Re: How To Fish by Blindpoetry	zodiac 67.240.155.132	18-May-04/5:40 AM
This poem is the ugly face of attention deficiency.
Re: I MISS YOU by jroday	SupremeDreamer 66.52.155.64	18-May-04/6:39 AM
A couple things with this poem bother me: 1: It's not really a lyric. 2: It has a rhyme scheme thats built with words that have similiar endings. You didn't pay attention to how the words actually sound like- for instance the first line ends with "alone", the second line ends with gone. Say those two words out loud, you'll notice that they sound nothing alike, therefore they don't rhyme. 3: It's extremely cliche, and unimaginative. I know this is a really "personal" piece, but that doesn't change the fact that its not well written, crippled, by your poor use of basic poetic mechanics. 4: The ending is absolutely HORRIBLE- sounds like the shit priests say to comfort a person at confession. In short, you didn't put any real effort into writing this in a creative, original fashion, or you simply lack the skill needed to craft a poem of decent quality. It's obvious that you have no experience with writing. My advice is that you read some real poetry and experience some real literary style. Come up with your own style and develop it- learn about basic technique and the proper use of poetic devices. In time you'll build up skill and start writing poetry thats worth reading. Blessed with zero.
Re: PATIENCE by jroday	Everyone 213.146.148.199	18-May-04/7:35 AM
Q: What do you call an epileptic holding a glass of milk? A: A milkshake. Q: What do you call an epileptic in your bathtub? A: A jacuzzi. Q: What do you call an epileptic in your garden? A: A seizure salad. Q: What's the ultimate doom for a leper? A: An epileptic fit. Q: What does an elephant use as a vibrator? A: An epileptic Q: What do you throw to an epileptic who is having a fit in the bath? A: Your laundry.